Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Photos

Looking through old photos 
Wishing I could go back 
     In time 
And tell myself 
To 
Lighten Up !!

Be thankful for what you have -
A younger self 
Hope and strength 

I always thought there 
Would be more 
There was something 
     I was going for
This and that 
Perfect bit of existence 
Would be mine 
Just 
     Give it time 

I had a sense of 
     Urgency
And longing for 
And always wondered why 
It all seemed so uphill 
And inflationary 

By the time we've got 
The money saved 
It costs more 

And there's no end to it 

I thought there'd be 
A light 
At the end of the tunnel 

Now I see 
There's just more tunnel 

With some light   Yes 
But the tunnel closes in 
And darkness begins to 
Descend
Friends of friends 
Pass away 
Have memorial services
Celebrate a life 
Well lived 

What have I done with mine 
How have I spent 
My time 

What choice did I have 
But to work and save 
Be the capitalist 
Slave 
And glad to have 
A job 
Or three 

Why give us dreams ?
Joyful wishes -
And then 
Make sure they 
Can't come true . . .

But now I know a secret 
It's been a lifetime 
To learn 

There is another direction 
Where it all rings true 
There is an inner wonder 
A connection 
More important than 
Perfection in 
Material things 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Waiting

Waiting for the rain. 
Waiting for the stock market to fall 
Waiting for me 
To get off of this couch 
And make some coffee

Waiting for an 
     Attitude change
Wanting this slight headache 
To turn into joy 

Magically 

There is a dancing lesson 
Today 
At which time 
I will have to 
Forget myself 
And try hard to 
Remember steps 

Oh yawn 
Great and generous 
Yawn 

I take myself too seriously 
Or not 
     Seriously enough
I have begun 
     Not to care

But not enough!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Big, Black Hat

Just a description 
Of the biggest flipping cloud
I've ever seen 
Sitting up on top of the mountains 
Looking like a big, black hat 

I'm from Southern California 
It 
Doesn't DO that !

And it rained
So hard -
The big truck I was going 
To pass 
Just moments before
Became a beacon
In the storm 
Hunched over my steering wheel
Windshield wipers as high
As they would go 
I followed those tail lights 
Through the storm 

Looking to the west a moment 
Later -
 there was light !

Looking to the mountain I was 
Going to cross -
It was black !

The sky 
Was 
So black 
And that pass is 
So high 
Tricky to drive 
At the best of times
- the rocks that would 
Come down - 
The lightening that might hit
Me!
And my little 
Car!

I looked up and some 
Part of me said no 
Really - 
     No !
Even though it would add hours 
To the trip 
-Already all day -
We turn around 
We drive toward the light 
We drive out of this 
Storm 

The valley is long 
And beautiful
Cutting through 
Canyons 
With hills all around 
Really beautiful !
Why haven't I been 
This way before - ?
Hills and ranches 
And trucks snaking along 
A gently winding 
two lane road 

Thank God I got gas !

When finally I find the 
Freeway
(I'll be home in a few more hours)
I'll never forget 
How good the smooth pavement 
Felt 
Beneath the wheels of my
Truck 
Just enough daylight left 
To see the beautiful hills and 
Valleys 

Home by 
Night -
Sunset in the 
Rear view mirror. 





Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The Return

Tomorrow 
I go -
I return to the life 
I live 
With 
None of my problems solved 
And 
Mail piled up behind 
The door 

I have a few new 
Resolutions
Like 
Don't let it get 
     To me 

Sit and contemplate
     Just 
     Because

Remember what is 
Really important 
And don't 
Let others distract me from 
My life's great purpose 

Which is 
To sit 
And contemplate
The truely great questions 
Which transcend
Even language 
And mentation

Those questions which become 
Oneness
And therefore 
Disappear 
All together

Astounding!

I have come here 
To discover the 
Infinite 

I valiantly begin 
And I am on the doorstep of 
Possible enlightenment 
When

I am told to
Leave 
This shrine -
Which is Dedicated to 
Meditation -
Because 
There will be a class 
Now -
About 
Meditation . . .

I arise 
And stumble out 
The world spinning 
Around me 
From my 
Quick retreat -
My heart pounding 
From the sudden effort 
Of arising from a zero point

This place is so 
Like that 
So many things so 
Misunderstood 

I am not even 
Astounded
Anymore





Sunday, April 19, 2015

Quiet

Hey I'm trying to meditate
     Here -
Where I'm from 
     The sounds of the freeway 
Intervene 
But here 
I am startled by
The cry 
     Of wild turkeys 
     And the honking of 
          The Canadian geese 
And when they stop
The frogs are
Croaking 

I have come so far 
For 
Peace and quiet

I am startled by 
The deer who rests 
     Beneath the porch
And leaves in a huff 
As my suitcase rolls overhead 

And trees -
There are maybe a 
     Million trees 
Which no one planted 
     But God 
Which no one waters 
     But God 

There is landscape here 
     -naturally occurring-
A person would pay a lot 
To have these boulders 
     Brought 
And the stream run through 
     A giant 
Pump. 

All this -
So my mind 
Can slow down 
And stop
Awhile 

To remember 
     What 
Is truely important . . .

Is that the dinner bell 
     I hear ?

They now have 
Wifi
And I brought 
An iPad 
So 
It's not nearly 
As quiet 
As it used to 
Be 






Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Priceless Treasures

How can one little truck 
Hold 
    So much stuff!!
It's like a time capsule
     In here . . .

Sand from the last trek
     To the beach 
And a few shells 
And rocks 
Why
Must I bring home rocks ? 
I have rocks, pebbles and stones
From sixty years gone -

My father 
Collected rocks -
     Also 
Carefully finding them 
- After we'd passed the 
     National Park 
     Sign -
One for each trip -
They are still at
     The old house 
     I'm sure 
They were as heavy
As he could comfortably lift 
So there 
They sit -
Too heavy for 
Me 

I'm more the pebble sort 
(Be careful to empty pockets
- before washing!)
I try to resist 
The urge 
I look away 
But I sometimes find 
The same one 
On the way back 
Saying,
     "Pick me, me!"

And I still haven't 
Really figured out 
     What to do 
With all these priceless
     Treasures