nearly a year

it's been nearly
a year
since the BLOGGING
began

I was nervous
all day
after that
first
fateful
POST

yea gads
someone will see
they will "read" me

they might even
comment
and say
"i suk"

(so far, no comments)
and I've earned about
a dollar, seventy five.

but the people who read
they're from all over...
the world...
-imagine that!

-maybe very bored-
or - lost on the internet-
whatever
-I want them to know
that I appreciate their visit-
I look at the numbers 
as they
climb dizzily into the
TRIPLE digits
(more than a hundred!)
yea gads!

but it's addictive
this computer writing stuff
a little like a crossword puzzle
only more fun
intuitive
creative
words
dancing around
chasing a meaning
puzzling out
something
worth seeing
worth commenting
on
maybe to share
an idea
a smile
an a-ha moment
we're all in this together
this life
and we'll all end up
going
the same place
(maybe different compartments
for different beliefs)
but we'll be there-
and on time

for once

Christmas List

Happy Christmas
to us all

They say
Christmas
will be sunny
and warm

I will go to the beach
and contemplate
the waves

I don't do enough
of that
I will put it on my
list

The one I make
every year

I wonder, if I find
a list from long ago
Will anything on it
have been done ?

Or was it all
just wishful thinking
-Gemini imagination-

-as I look at stacks
of papers...
there may be a list
in there...

I will certainly
put it on my list
-this year-
to make inroads...,
excursions...
into and among
the stacks
of papers

I wish someone else
could do it
Maybe Santa Claus
and all his reindeer
Maybe the elves

they could do the work
and leave me cookies!
that would be a good plan!
-I'll put it on my
list-

Evolution

Sitting on the back porch
     in the shade
Puzzling out
     a pomegranate

for this
     hands were made
I understand it now
    puzzling out
          each little seed
     breaking apart a puzzling matrix
          of pulp
yes
for this
hands were made

To have such a ruby, seedy,
     juicy thing
          in December
     Sweatshirt weather here
     -but still barefoot-
     a sweatshirt now stained
     with purple spots

Neighbor Cat
     comes to visit
     but turns the dusty black nose up
          at pomegranate seeds

Therefore
     CATS
don't have hands
     and
That's probably
     a good thing
as far as
household integrity
     is concerned
(not that my house
     has a lot
     of that)

The evolution
     of the species
Created
     from
          Adam and Eve

Are we evolving?
     -are we still fighting ?
          -overpopulating?

I contemplate
     As I sit here
          monkey-like
     dealing with
          sweet seeds 

what

• what 
• am I doing 
• here
• I 
• ask myself 

this whole thing 

about living... 

waiting 

where do we go next? 

and 

how do we prepare? 

everyone has answers 

if we only can 

believe 

money- 

faith- 

running around- 

and 

doing things! 

-old enough to know the 

meaninglessness 

the 

angst 

but still 

having the faith 

that it is 

"meant to be" 

or 

it wouldn't be 

God 

wants it this way 

or 

She would change it 

the spark of joy within 

where is it 

where did it go 

i'd 

better go find it 

because I 

miss it 

when it's gone 

apres

been there
done that
back home now
now is the time
to pay for it all

occupy Wall Street
I am with you

now the bill is coming due
and the property taxes too

they never leave us alone
never let us settle

never let us own anything
and even if we think we do
the feds charge rent
just like landlords too

and now after a journey
I push the door open
against the stacks of bills
and junk mail there
on the floor

and he
is still here
and misbehaving
I need an occupy demonstration
to straighten
out my relationship
I can only run so far
so long
and then something

   must be done

retreat

it's raining today
at the retreat
it's so sweet
for a city kid
to hear rain
   coming down
   through tall trees
   really tall pines

earlier...
herds of wild turkeys
walking the meadow
like small grazing dinosaurs
in the Jurassic

the people here
have left the world
for good

still they go into town
   sometimes
some of the old timers think
   it really ruined the place
   when they got electricity
   and paved the roads

some folks think they're crazy
some think it's cult-like
I come up here
   not to think
and to leave the cult of
   TV and fast food and freeways
for awhile

God and Goddess bless them
for providing a place for peace
a place to look within
a place to access the eternal stream
of energy, light, and bliss
and joy
:-)

retreat

lots of planning
goes into
leaving

leaving
in order to
retreat

no one understands
why
i
do this

why not go someplace
     exciting
they say
why not
     take
     me ????

it's the trees
     you see
and the space
and the time-
     time
     not to speak
     not to think
or
     to speak and think
of God
     while walking
     among trees

it is difficult
to explain
even
to me

there's something about
being among
ones own kind
people who believe
that God is real
and can be seen
people who speak ones own language
people trying to see
trying to connect
trying to find
their own hearts
and their connection
with the larger heart of God

it's not so easy sometimes
it's not really like a vacation
     -with fine wine and windsurfing-
it's more like diving deep
     within
to find
     -what's in there-