that was then, this is now

oh yea of little faith
I cried over 1500$ plumbing bill
then that turned into 11,000$ or so
so now I am in debt
     for awhile
this life
is not for sissies

I must not despair
things could be worse
-a lot worse
-i suppose...

the day dawns
with overcast
-my neighbor and I
     commiserate
-we're glad to see the return
of our natural fog

we were having
too much sunshine
-not used to it here-

I drive to church
-early
-thinking
this town would be a good place
-for vampires
-something that would like
the fog
the general feeling
of hiding from
the sun.

it's by the coast
it's rarely warm
it's usually damp
we lose the trick
of being warm

sunshine and heat
seem unnatural

vampires,
plumbers,
both have something in common
-the sucking sound
of blood
of money
-

-plumbing-

oh the sweet
     gurgling
          sound
of a drain
     well done

We have returned
     to civilization
We have returned
     to the way
Things
     ought
          to be . . .

It may not
     seem like
          much
     to you
But the large bucket
     of water
          in the yard
Got old fast-
Especially
     as it has been
          overcast-

Now, -that
     most civilized
          of things-
The indoor
     shower-
With the soap
     and shampoo-
Is once again
     operative.

-although now
    the bank account
    and the credit card
    suffer mightily

It's like
     "whack-a-mole"
          this life

One thing
     and another
And a $1,500.
     pipe

the "special" day...

It is the eve
of the birthday
I always think
I should have
done something
by now...
    Accomplished 
    some wonderful 
    Accomplishment

where did i ever get 
such an idea 
it only makes me 
crazy 
only makes me 
sad 


I need to be more 
zen about it 
-need to stop listening 
to the "social media" 
or the "unsocial media" 


now I'm lost in fonts and sizes 
and I can't get back 


so much for technology 
or my lack of understanding 
of it 


let's see... 
what's my goal 
for the year ahead 


some say we should have goals 
many and various and daunting 
-giving us a reason to get up 
     in the morning 
-or a reason 
     to stay in bed 


some say we should have no goals 
-that the earth is only a dream 
-and our dreams
     merely a misunderstanding 
of the id, the ego 
     and the Iliad


definitely, for the year ahead, 
I should understand fonts and sizes
and learn how to spell definitely, 
definitely!


The only person I know 
with really definite goals 
has the most migraines 
maybe that's the true measure 
of success 
in this world 
the most migraines 
the most pain killers 
and the longest time 
spent 
in a darkened room 
--wins!


you can see 
I'm not real jazzed 
about 
"my special day"


some cultures 
don't celebrate birthdays 
at all 


maybe I 
could move there   

Rincon, California

Rincon, California


Life is precarious
     at the best
          of times

This thought
     comes
          to me
as I picnic
     at the edge
          of the sea

These people
     who live
          here
do they never
     contemplate
the volume of
     salt water
which they are
     expecting
     to stay
     in one place?

High tide-
     Low tide-
a matter of feet-
Vast Pacific Ocean...
     really big!
really, really big.

Those along the
     Rincon
Who surf and
     play
(and picnic)

We realize
     we are rolling
     the planetary
          dice

True anywhere-
     but so very
          much so
     -here

all that ocean
     has to do
          is burp
And I
     and
my favorite
     pick up truck
are washed
     into the
          sea

Washed into
     oblivion-
and multi-million
     dollar houses
along with us

That would be
a truly
     Democratic
          moment.

The Rich People
     and me,
going for
     a little swim
together
     in a raging
          sea.

leaks

Today
will be a day
like any other

but more than that...
-the plumbing has broken
-showers can no longer be taken
     here
-what to do
-what to do

everything takes money
-so much money

where to find this
-money
-this paper
-upon which it is printed

-it is printed...
whether or not
-we can eat and what
-whether or not
the plumbing will be fixed
whether or not
whether or not

this poet
needs a patron
-great idea...
-where to find one
or two or three

meantime i must figure it out
i must "bite the bullet"
(so to speak)
no great revelation here
just...
-the everyday
-the great and mighty stuff-
about which

i have no clue
it always confuses me
always confounds me
why must it be all so
     pedestrian yet
     inexplicable
poets are not
the most practical people...

we need a "hot line"
a 12 step group
a subsidy
a march
     (we wouldn't want to march-
     much too -out doorsy- and noisy)
social security for poetic "disability"
food stamps for plumbing
     but then
     one would have to apply...

alright, alright, myself tells myself
quit messing around
and get to it
 

the inevitable

the birthday
     approaches
like the shark
     in "Jaws"
duh- dnd, duh-duh
(the sneaky theme song of the shark)

the birthday song
 - should be more like that -
     not this "Happy Birthday to You"
            --bull s#$%!!

What's happy about getting older?
Except that the alternative may be worse.

We don't really know
We're not really sure
and therein lies
     the trouble
we're sort of stuck here
     for now anyway
stuck here
     not knowing
trying to
     figure it out
what to do
     with the remaining years
          -want to do my best
          -want to please
               the powers that be
                    on earth and in heaven

we have the choice
     -to do what's best
 and to figure out
      -what that is
      -what that could possibly be
      -what that means for me

that seems to be the game here

use our free will-
     to please the Gods
     -the fickle, capricious
      all powerful
      Gods
the ones with tornadoes and earthquakes
in their hands
the ones who throw
tsunamis
at us
the Gods who sneak up quietly
with cancer and strokes and all manner
of unmentionable maladies

but for all this
we must just
     love them
God is love
love is all we have
     in the end
and all we can give
     the Gods
That is the one thing
They do not have
     (I have read)
our love, our adoration

I have decided
     it is their world
     their way
At long last
     I give up
(Or at least
     try to)

for so long I have been
trying to tell the Gods
how I would like it to be

-it seems,
they don't listen to me

I'm sure they have their own
     agenda
     their own plan
They do not share it
     with me
Top on my list would be
     leaving out this birthday
But do they listen?
     -no-
They have some noble plan
     no doubt
For how could a God's plan
     be other
     than noble?

And so I must
     with great humility
     and reverence
     concede
That their GREAT PLAN
     for me
Is that I
     with equanimity
     will be...

Sung to...
Congratulated...
     maybe get a card or two
Even If I DON'T AGREE!!!
 

    


  

cat attack

the black cat
visits

what can I say...
He is not "mine"
     but I feed him
          anyway

He has that kind of attitude
If he doesn't like what's being served
your feet aren't safe
     he doesn't grab and bite
           very hard
     but you know
He disapproves

I'm sure he learned this
at "his" house
where there are two dogs
     two kids
and nobody pays any attention
     to anything
I'm sure he was hungry
and they were walking past him
and they were reminded
     in no uncertain terms

but when he comes here
he has my undivided attention
and all the petting he can endure

we are friends
     -pals
especially when
he gets his way

-don't disturb him
     when he's sleeping
-don't pet him
     irresponsibility
-buy the expensive
     littlest cans of cat food

and you may be
     rewarded
with a purr
with a nuzzle

What can I say...
-the little ears
-the little face
-the expressive tail

Am I becoming the old woman
     with the cats?!!
at least for now
There is only one-
Only the handsomest,
     most lovely kitty
In the whole entire world

-love is a many splendor ed thing-