dukha

signing up for another

retreat
preparing to leave
the world

getting too old
for the long drive
but love the
     walking around
and the food

the credit card
still has remnants
of the last visit there

came back
all mellowed out
and the plumbing went-

life
has a way
of intruding
upon our contemplation

hopefully now
things
will
mellow out

I don't know why
they should
except that
I want them to

I suppose it's only me
that can
mellow be

twisting things around
to make them rhyme

not good,
need
to let
them
be

that may be
my main problem here
need to learn to let
the powers that be
have their way
with me

but I only want
the good
stuff

that's normal,
natural,
but
not very zen

Buddha said-
desire and aversion
are the great
bug-a-boos
of life
causing all our
strife

I'm desiring breakfast
and if I don't get it
there will be
suffering...

desire
for pancakes,
too fattening-
desire
for oatmeal
-not nearly as
     keen

dear Lord
let me desire
the good stuff
only what is truly
good for
me

wheat-grass-juice,
not - hot pancakes
with butter and
maple syrup
-dripping-

it's dukha-
it strikes again
in the form
of pancakes
this time

we must be
     watchful
for it is
ever at our heels
nipping
hungrily...

( i'd better go eat )

coffee house blues

walkin' to the coffee house
early in the day
wishin' this guitar player
would just
go away

dude...
I haven't had my
     coffee yet

back in the day
I used to play
late at night
by smokey light
trying to be
the next
bobbi dylan
or
Joan
or Joni

now
I'm walking for my health
-for my blood pressure-
and
first thing-
there you are
with your steel string guitar
strumming loudly with a plastic pick
singing
old songs
not very well

and they were
out of newspapers
and the latte's not that good
the scone is dry
but they do try

What can I say
nothing-
I read what paper I can find

the topic today
is how to make the homeless
go away
"they"
are cleaning up the river-bottom
so now these poor souls
are
all over town
scaring everyone
to death
pan-handling with
pit-bulls

it's tough out there
now-days

a friend
who has a friend
who just returned
from europe
says
there are no homeless there
they have "places"
where people can go
in their own country
to lay
their heads .

I have always seen it
as a threat
by a purely capitalistic
     mind set
-work hard
-go to school
-work harder yet
or you too
will be
like them

with nothing but a stolen
grocery cart
and a welfare check
to call your own
that-
and a killer dog

what oh what
is this world
coming to

(must end on a happier note)
they come here
for the weather
I've heard them say-
it's not 100 degrees
all day
the beach is nice-
people try to help

someone  in the coffee house said
he was offered money
and he wasn't asking
-isn't  a panhandler
-is not homeless
--just dressed for
"casual Friday"
very casual-
so
the happy note is
that there are people out there
who want to help
who might even help
you
or I

and that
music is not dead
-just in traction-

conspiracy theory

listening to an old phone message
mildly panicing
omg - they're coming now

they're coming here
now
and I'm not ready
not by a long shot

so I call
and I discover that
-yet again technology
has
faked me out!

it was an old message
on a cell phone
which I only partly
understand

I am proud that
I understand
as much as I do
and I can send text messages
and sometimes
     answer the damn thing
     correctly

how quickly
such things become
necessities
AND  now they can
track me
wherever I go!

big brother
will know
when
I go to the store
and buy subversive
toilet paper

big sister will be there
when I buy overpriced
petrol
(which, by the way)
I need to do

the government can be
watching me
when I
walk on the beach

I guess the message here
is
they may be
bored with me
whoever sits there watching
will need coffee
to stay awake

the illuminate
will not be illuminated
-watching me
they will wonder
how I manage
to live
such a boring life

but it is necessary
to be a bit boring
when one practices watching
"Zen Flowers"
in ones life

sometimes
they are in a neighbor's garden
as I take my walk
-for my blood pressure-
sometimes
they are with a friend
in conversation
and I remember
that friends are indeed
flowers

sometimes
I forget them
and I miss them
when they are gone
but it is only, I,
who have left
And I remember
that I
need to remember
to listen
to the flowers
as I go on my way
day to day

politics

politics
oh politics
the tv's
gone
insane

and it wasn't very sane
to begin with

why don't they just
--get it right!
     I always
     wonder

they are the experts
they get the big bucks
they majored
     in this stuff

so why
not just do the thing
that
gets it done
and works for all of us
the best

any fool can tell you
any child
     will know

let the people live
and be free
help them to have
     a good time
and don't make it all
     so complicated

easy-peezy
     right
no need to ride around
in big planes
kissing babies
holding children
yelling and calling names

very much like the college
     where I worked
things, oddly enough,
ran much better
when the higher ups
     were absent
at some higher up conference
     or such
and the clerks,
     who did all the work
     anyway,
were left
in charge

just let us
get
on
with it 

freedom

freedom
comes with
responsibility

freedom from you
freedom for me

for so long I cared
wondered what you thought
of me

now I know ....
sort of pissed.
don't really care-
getting on with it

Now I have my dream
of freedom
of getting my own trip
-together
on my own

no one to blame
no one to call
no one to wonder
if they care
at all

absolute freedom
has its good points
and bad

great relief
great sorrow
great wonder
at the days
which stretch
     out before me 

centering

one must imagine
all these
words
nicely centered
on the page

over there, more ->

not so much
crowded
to the left

as is the case
now

You see
I haven't a clue
and don't
much
care to

oh I care somewhat
but I think
it has to do
with tabulation
or margins, margarines,
not butter

it's late...

that's the stuff
I never learned
in class --
I was daydreaming
or some such
but then the machine
I learned to type on
was a Machine
with mechanical thingeys
to change
I got quite quick
at that
zip- tab change
and slam the carriage
back again

now everything
is digital
and lives
in
cyberspace

but centering
is still important
(if only I
knew how)
centering may be
even more important
now

for without
the center
of the circle
Where would we be?
-Believing in politics,
pie in the sky promises,
and the nightly news.
Now I'm no conspiracy nut,
But!
It does seem quite coincidental
when
the little green men
and the men in black
are seen having tea
with Alice
and that damn disappearing
cat
Cheshire,
I believe.

oh god-
sometimes these poems
do wander on

and that brings us
right back
to centering

you see  

It's Late

It's late
and
getting later

I've promised myself
repeatedly
to
stop

--go to bed
--get ready for tomorrow

lots to do
lots to do

but then i think
this moment
     is so precious
and
     will never come
again

I wonder if
all our planning
and worrying
will be worth it
or if
zen surfing
is what we
should have done

It's late
and getting
latter

I'm old
and getting
older

What would I do
If I had a million dollars
(-watched a program about
a lottery winner-)
I'd do just what I'm doing
-but much more elegantly, of course,
and on a much newer computer.

I'd practice
Zen surfing
through life
even more intently
Because I'd have the time
--maybe then-- I should find more time
for that now

for Zen surfing
takes no time
it is
     -as we are

plus
there'd be
all that fuss
about tickets and numbers
and such

lots of interviews
and wondering
what to do
with all that money
all that stuff

I'd be so busy buying things
that my Zen
might fly away

probably better not to be
so lucky anyway

maybe I'll buy
a ticket or two
tomorrow

one thing I never do
is listen
to the good advise
I give myself

well i do listen...

--but this could
be a sign...

-oh, give it a rest
and get to bed
with dreams of sugarplums
dancing in your head-