home again

back home
from the long
trip
giving thanks
there were no
-major problems-

greeted by the furry cat
-his winter coat is coming in-
he naps beside me
-but always wants out
     at night-
(the bells I hung
on the door
for him to ring --
may not have been
the absolute
Best Idea...)

the fish are fine
they circle around
-probably glad that
whoever drops the food in-
is doing so again
-vacation food block
doesn't look maybe
so appetizing
or is it me
who thinks
that they
can differentiate me
from a raccoon

the Bills are there
arraigned like a trap
upon the floor
They will jump up
and attack
     my bank account
-as so many things also
are wont to do

I try to preserve
the silence
of the retreat
     Not calling
     you
     The one
     who never has anything
     nice
     to say
Maybe you
will
go
away

I ran outta here
crazy to escape
from problems
and from mind
which I did
with great
expertise
so
tonight
there is
a
"woman's meeting"
(at church)
after a week
of near-silence
will I
crack
and
break
????

oh flagman, flagman

oh flagman,
     flagman
don't flag me

let me go upon
     my journey

But while I sit and wait
I see by the roadside
The green tumbleweed
The golden grass-like stuff
and sage-y green

Which-
without you,
noble flagman,
This I-
never would
have seen

Now we get to go
and crawl along
Led by the lead car
     with the flashing light

today the flagman
     is a flagwoman!

See how far
     we've come
From "Virginia Slims"
to this

and I can watch
the hills roll by
at 15 miles per hour

all the way up
this long hill

What is up
with you people-
repairing
a place
That looked
perfectly good
to me
-last time through
(six days ago)
maybe there was
nothing
better to do

so now
we move

-passing the other side
waiting
-it must be a mile
of cars and big-big trucks
up hill
down hill
and all
around hill

good to be
back home
after a drive
like that !

-and greeted by
the fuzzy cat

ego-maniac

there in the stillness
of the forest and the trees
and the meditation
shrine...

I fall down between
my thoughts and dreams
I get to a place where
I want to be
forever

no mind
no problem

the zen friends
say

why it takes so much doing
to un-do

is a mystery...

The mind needs an
     off switch
-and a manual

-the emotions too-

They drive me
crazy
-on any usual day

maybe now they will
     fall in line
maybe now
     learn quietness
maybe now
     learn to stay
     in the now

they laugh...
they let me be
for a little while

with a tantalizing
taste
of freedom
of space

beatific  
buddha's face

retreating

here I am
retreating from my life
(being very spiritual)
and remembering all the things
I forgot
to bring.

this truth
becomes
"self-evident"
when I go to brush my teeth
and there is
     -no brush
I go to charge my phone
     -and there is no chord

there is one last
-last minute package
sitting at home
put right in the place
-where I won't forget  it

I wish there were
someone
to blame
someone else
who forgot it
maybe "the cat"
made away with it

but
I must
admit
as I sit
cross legged
in the wilderness
That
I
have done it again

and no one else
can be blamed
for it

karma
meets
all timers 
 

one world

all over the world
we are all people
we all deserve
to be free
to "have fun
to go home
when we're done"

we don't deserve
hunger
and strife
we all want
a nice life

big governments
and corporations
are only us
after all

how revolutionary
to just
chill
just begin
to be nice
to each other
and
to ourselves

why add more trouble
more anger
more angst
to the whole pie

I am ego
after all
the ego is three years
old
she likes cookies and
cartoons

but the greater good
is served
by seeing
that
ego
is
only one small part
of this picture

Jesus, "felt the joy
of the Holy Spirit"
I need to feel that

better than
cookies
and
not so fattening

dukha

signing up for another

retreat
preparing to leave
the world

getting too old
for the long drive
but love the
     walking around
and the food

the credit card
still has remnants
of the last visit there

came back
all mellowed out
and the plumbing went-

life
has a way
of intruding
upon our contemplation

hopefully now
things
will
mellow out

I don't know why
they should
except that
I want them to

I suppose it's only me
that can
mellow be

twisting things around
to make them rhyme

not good,
need
to let
them
be

that may be
my main problem here
need to learn to let
the powers that be
have their way
with me

but I only want
the good
stuff

that's normal,
natural,
but
not very zen

Buddha said-
desire and aversion
are the great
bug-a-boos
of life
causing all our
strife

I'm desiring breakfast
and if I don't get it
there will be
suffering...

desire
for pancakes,
too fattening-
desire
for oatmeal
-not nearly as
     keen

dear Lord
let me desire
the good stuff
only what is truly
good for
me

wheat-grass-juice,
not - hot pancakes
with butter and
maple syrup
-dripping-

it's dukha-
it strikes again
in the form
of pancakes
this time

we must be
     watchful
for it is
ever at our heels
nipping
hungrily...

( i'd better go eat )

coffee house blues

walkin' to the coffee house
early in the day
wishin' this guitar player
would just
go away

dude...
I haven't had my
     coffee yet

back in the day
I used to play
late at night
by smokey light
trying to be
the next
bobbi dylan
or
Joan
or Joni

now
I'm walking for my health
-for my blood pressure-
and
first thing-
there you are
with your steel string guitar
strumming loudly with a plastic pick
singing
old songs
not very well

and they were
out of newspapers
and the latte's not that good
the scone is dry
but they do try

What can I say
nothing-
I read what paper I can find

the topic today
is how to make the homeless
go away
"they"
are cleaning up the river-bottom
so now these poor souls
are
all over town
scaring everyone
to death
pan-handling with
pit-bulls

it's tough out there
now-days

a friend
who has a friend
who just returned
from europe
says
there are no homeless there
they have "places"
where people can go
in their own country
to lay
their heads .

I have always seen it
as a threat
by a purely capitalistic
     mind set
-work hard
-go to school
-work harder yet
or you too
will be
like them

with nothing but a stolen
grocery cart
and a welfare check
to call your own
that-
and a killer dog

what oh what
is this world
coming to

(must end on a happier note)
they come here
for the weather
I've heard them say-
it's not 100 degrees
all day
the beach is nice-
people try to help

someone  in the coffee house said
he was offered money
and he wasn't asking
-isn't  a panhandler
-is not homeless
--just dressed for
"casual Friday"
very casual-
so
the happy note is
that there are people out there
who want to help
who might even help
you
or I

and that
music is not dead
-just in traction-