Garden Notes; Bucket List

     

Today I love

     getting old 

So much undone

     that I will never do... 

The bucket list 

     has a hole in it 

The bucket leaks... 

I am not able-

     can't afford-

And beginning to see 

     the difference between- 

ideas 

     and 

          reality- 

Ideas are 

     much trouble...

Reality- 

     takes care 

          of itself

As in 

     the garden 

Where butterflies fly 

     and robins-

          hop -among the 

               mint-

-I still pull 

     the occasional 

          weed- 

And water 

     some- 

But overall, 

     it does 

          what 

                it wants 

And it's

     better 

That 

     way 

The bucket

     belongs 

In that sort of 

     garden 

-Useful 

     even with 

a hole 

     in it- 

No more lists- 

     if lists 

          can be avoided 

As long as we include 

      God- 

And put her 

     at the top 

     of the list 

Well--

     that is 

          the trick  

     

boston marathon bombing

A God of love
     and responsibility-
How important
     this is
To the Fabric
     of Society
and Society-
     How important
     this is
To our lives

Our dedication
     to the ideals
Is all that
     separates us
-all that
     saves us
From the Chaos

It comes from within-
     from the hearts
     of us all
Without it
     we are lost
We need to remind
     ourselves-
We need to
     give thanks
We need to
     renew our vows-
     our dedication
to the ideal
     of compassion
     and honor 

Dear Mr. Kim,

Dear Mr. Kim,

Please don't drop
     Atom Bombs
          on me

I don't follow
     the news
          closely
But they say
     you are
          upset
     About
          something...

You see
     I grew up
     during the cold war
And the Russians
     Supposedly
Wanted to drop
     Atom Bombs
     on me

I never knew
     what we did
          to deserve it
But I'm sure
     there was
          something-
To be very upset
     about

It's not so much
     for me I plead
But think of all
     the trees
     and butterflies
     and children
          and such
     Who will be
          turned
     to glass
     and dust

I have been surprised
     for a long time
That we
     are still alive-
That the Atom Bombs
     of the 50's
     didn't drop

I remember mom
     putting canned goods
     and blankets
     in the hall closet
So we could survive
     in the hallway
(I never figured out
how that was
actually going
to work)

at grade school
they had us file
     neatly into the hallway
and crouch in
     the corners
I still remember the
     look of the
     grey tiles - close up

It was cool
     and quiet
in the hallway -
A welcome break
and something different
     to do

The next year
     we were taught to
     scramble under
     our wooden desks
     (the desks still had a hole for
     an ink well - the wood stained blue
     with ancient use)

The next year
we were told to just
put our heads down
and not to look at
     the bright flash
so our eyes wouldn't
melt

The next year
there were no more
drills
I suppose they had
     figured out
What we kids
     already knew
     No amount of hallway
          or wooden desk
     Would do much
          good...

A friend whose family
     had more money
     built a bomb shelter...

I don''t know
     if this affected
my childhood
     but
I have always had
     an endearing
     sense of
     fatalism...

So Dear Mr Kim
Please remember
     that your friend Dennis
Would be injured too
     and basketball
     would be shut down-
Lots of people
     and their pets
Would be melted into
     glass
          and dust



And Butterflies
    
     would

          cry

Common Cold; notes

4/8/13

1:01 AM!

if the day 

     ever comes, 

When we are 

     allowed to ask 

-really deep questions 

     -and get a straight 

          answer 

One of my first questions will be...

Why germs? 

     Why Viruses and Bacteria?

And why 

     me?

Sneezing and Sniffling 

     and Snorting now 

for days and days 

     not fun/boring!

Goodness knows 

     how much longer 

     this will last 

I have things to do 

Places to go 

I can't Tango 

     and sneeze!

Why did the Gods 

     invent the 

          Common Cold 

(and much worse stuff)

Trapped in these 

     flimsy bodies 

We suffer so 

One night I can sleep 

The next one 

     not 

And I know I am 

     fortunate- 

to only be 

     as sick 

     as I am! 

One day 

     it may be 

much worse 

And then 

     we will

          die...

And through it all 

we are supposed 

     to be 

Upbeat and cheerful 

and accomplish 

     great 

          accomplishments 

          to enhance 

          the collective 

               consciousness 

          of humanity

Oh bother

     where's the kleenex 

     and the vapo-rub

  

I sneeze...

Travels...

travels...
--planning another journey
lots to do...
will this cold be over by then...?
count the days
count the ways

Yosemite
     in the spring
Ah-h-h-h
all that beauty...

---have to do laundry
          Now!
the dryer has been broken
     forever...
and I hate doing laundry...
and it's foggy here
the timing has to be exactly right
or I'm draping damp clothes
     over car seats
-going down the road-

can I afford this?
---I have saved and saved...
gas, goes up and up
...rooms to rent
...food to buy
...heating up the can of soup
     on the hot plate
     on the bathroom floor...
It's sort of like camping
only with
a door

Going on to the retreat
     after that...
Promising myself that this time
     I'll really get enlightened
and I won't gain weight!

No excuse to pig out
just because it is "vacation"
road food, fast food...
things I don't usually allow myself
     to eat
but it's necessary
     on the road
one must "rough it"
we are driving so far
(the car and I)
and drive-throughs
are just meant for a time like
     this ...
(I rationalize)

trying to keep
     all this planning
a secret
from you, dear
because I know you'll
     be so very angry
(I'm delaying the inevitable)
but soon it will become clear,
or I'll slip up and let it slip out,
that once again
I am running away-
going far
and fast
and staying as long
     as I can afford
just for the blessed peace
     and quiet
of being gone

from you, dear

(the x -
who refuses to - x - )

ah- Tango

ah tango-
you do bring out the best in us
     and the worst
          -in some

my vision of gliding smoothly
     across the floor
    
is about half
     there...

it is ruined when i step on
     my own feet-
even worse
     when I step on
          yours-

but there is this one partner
who does not practice, does not hesitate,
     does not try the impossible moves
     (meant only for the young, and the slim)
this one partner
     can move cat-like-
     panther like-
and take me with him
     into the dream...

the Tango dream
-there is no dream
like the Tango dream...

it is a waking ecstasy
(with a small e)

it makes me feel
     vaguely guilty

vaguely satisfied
vaguely in love

but when the song is done
We return to our separate sitting spots-
     as if
     nothing has happened
     no one need be jealous or
otherwise
confused

...and I wonder why
...I keep attending classes
...keep finding clothes and buying shoes
...keep watching u-tube
...keep trying to learn the names of moves
     in a foreign tongue
...keep putting up with prima-donna maestros

and I know
     it is for that moment
that moment one or two
those precious moments
     with you
 

Fiddling While Rome Burns...

Thank you for remembering that,
     Brain
You are such a handy
     little thing
     to have up there
          on the top of my head...

(I realize
     that now
          you're old
And not remembering things
     as well as
          you once did)

However,
     just now
          you reminded me
     that the powers that be-
Are SCREWING with us
     once again!

They are as Gods...
     They can
          decree
     That you
          and me
Will lose or gain
     one hour of our lifetimes-

And Just when we get
     used to it
They, (those self-same powers)
     will
(just to jerk us out of our
     blissful complacency)

Go and do it again!

We just got over taxes,
-papers still cover the floor-

But oh
That is not enough-
to jerk us around
     with-

Now they will slow
     the earth's rotation-
for just one hour...
and speed it up
     in spring-

They can do all this,
     this planetary, cosmic,
          fiddling-
But they can't
     for the life of them-
Balance their
     own budget-
Or seem to agree
     on anything-


-fiddling while
     Rome burns-