Disappearing Act

Today at the temple 

The air was clear 

The clouds were high 

Above the Santa Barbara 

Mountains

The breeze was cool 

My mind ran hot 

Just like the old cars 

With their radiators steaming 

On the California mountain roads

Should I or should I not ? 

What will he think 

     And should I care ? 

Can I give up

     Must I not 

Which is 

     What 

Where and 

     How 

and why is it 

Always all 

My fault ?

I will not sit. 

I will merely bow. 

Myself and myself 

     Converse 

But then

I get 

Settled in

And ask for help 

From above 

As if by magic

I am transported to where 

My mind can get 

     Some air . . .

The poor overworked thing 

Allowed to rest 

To expand into 

     Whence it came 

The feeling of 

Relief 

To again visit this 

Realm 

The feeling of 

Joy

Indescribable 

I give thanks 

I have found 

     This place 

This place inside 

Where I can go 

To disappear. . .

Do we have a choice?

What's it doing raining here?

- in the middle of a drought year -

They build and build

Another five hundred

Unit building 

More condos in the river bed

And then they cry and complain

Where will the water come from 

For these units

-As the rain water rushes to the 

Sea-

Who are they?

Do they invest

From someplace 

Else?

My great grandfather 

Farmed oranges in 

Orange County 

Now oranges come from

Elsewhere 

Shipped to the millions of people

Who live

There 

Now

What do we do 

With the land 

With the place 

Where we live 

Do we turn it into asphalt 

And concrete?

Do we grow nutritious food 

Nearby 

And stroll in 

Gardens and 

In forests 

I suppose we 

Have a choice 

Cut the cord/Cut the cable

I've done it 

-Finally done it 

Tired of huge bills 

And nothing on-

But oh I will miss 

Duck dynasty-

Pulled the plug-

Cut the cable-

 in a rush of 

     Budget constraint-

All the news 

I won't know-

All the tragedy I will hear about

Only in passing 

Only second or third hand-

What will I need to know 

That I won't know 

And how will this affect me?

The earth shook last evening-

It was a long gentle shaking-here-

A gentle movement 

     Of the earth

One waits 

One does not know 

Will it stop 

Or will it grow 

Will this be the big one 

Which causes us to 

     Slip into the sea?

I won't know

Until I'm actually swimming 

That it is so 

There will be no commentator

To tell me 

What I should 

Know

The used videos at the thrift store

Cost 

Two dollars apiece

I watch them avidly

A movie with no commercial 

     Interruptions 

How nice 

How novel 

     Who knew?

"What if they gave a war 

     And nobody came " 

What if tv viewers 

     Did the same-

All those advertising dollars

     Flapping in the breeze with 

     No one to tease 

It's quieter here

     Now 

More time to 

     Think 

To contemplate

Maybe I will 

     Get things done 

Which I have left 

      Undone 

It is raining ??

I will step outside and 

See. 

Unfathomable Conversation

What could they possibly mean 

By that 

We want works, of so many 

Words 

So much, or no rhyme 

And we will pay a few dollars or

No dollars

Don't they realize that those of us 

Who write 

Have another reason 

Have another rhyme

Dance 

To the beat of the 

Different drummer ?

They will publish us -

How nice of them 

      To bother 

Now the Internet 

Has given us 

Wings !

-so to speak-

An iPhone and 

- nothing on tv 

Will do 

For inspiration 

An Unfathomable man

Will make 

For 

Interesting 

Conversation

Aging comes in 

For more 

"Inspiration"

Which friend has 

Just died ...

And did they die well

Did they get to go easy

Did they give up.

     Let go

     Gracefully? 

Don't, please God,

Let him go yet

-so many bits of him 

I've just met 

So many Unfathomable conversations 

Yet to have

Having said all this 

I will submit 

A few pages of 

Musings

Sacred mutterings

Confused 

Mumblings

But I will never submit -

Never surrender !

Because

As an American Woman...

I don't have to 

!!!

Thank the great

Goddess!

Tax Tyme

Can I write this off

This coffee

This latte? 

If I sit here 

And think about 

The irs ?

If I consider 

If I contemplate 

Which line goes where 

And to what do I add 

And or subtract 

What?

What percentage of 

Whom do I declare-

I declare

I want 

Out of here 

I love this country

Love this place

But when it comes to 

April

Every year 

We hear 

Wailing 

And  gnashing  

Of teeth!

And I again contemplate ...

They know more about me 

Than I do -

Just take what you take -

- leave me alone -

Don't even let me know -

I'll just try 

To live on the rest -

Whatever you choose 

To leave me with -

After all the people get

All the stuff for free

Not me-!

I always fall 

Just between 

The cracks 

Barely enough money 

To eat,

Much-

But just enough

Not to qualify

For anything

What-so-ever 

Ever!

It's always been 

Like that 

All my life -

I know people 

Who qualify

For everything -

God bless 'em 

God bless us all-

Everyone

They never have to work 

Another day 

They have found 

A way

Am I just 

Too honest 

Too straight forward

Or too 

Stubborn?

What is up 

With this crazy country ?

I can't write off 

A latte ...

Singing Monks

Singing monks 

Dressed in black

They have dedicated their lives to...

So serious and celibate 

Really serious...

Do they not know 

The joy 

The bliss

The lightness

Within ?

The spring of living water

The joy of the spirit

That's all in your book too-

Right along with some very violent 

Psalms 

You sing so sweetly

The psalm which speaks of 

smashing the enemy's children's heads

Against rocks

What???

Anticipation...

Anticipating. 

Some quiet time -

Retreat time. 

Of course

We know

Sometimes the mind 

Has other ideas

Sometimes the mind 

Has a mind 

Of its 

Own. 

We are gathered here today

To see-

What's what-

To perceive 

The internal, eternal 

Realms-

And they are there

Not so far away -

Once one gets settled in

Explores the place 

And has lunch ...

It will begin to dawn 

On one 

Oh. There is nothing to do 

Here 

No ringing phones to 

Attend to

(Hopefully beyond cell phone

Service)

No blue cross bill

To figure out how to pay

Or how to protest

Obama care. 

Not political 

Here 

Maybe they won't 

Blow up the world 

While I'm 

Gone 

Maybe I will gain 

The eternal perspective 

And wallow 

In a sea of God's bliss 

If all 

Goes according 

To plan ...