freedom

it is so important
    this
the ability to be
who I am
where I am
-in my own time
-my own place

freedom

it is a treasure
a pearl of great price

some friends don't understand
they want you to be tied up
     like they are

how dare you be free
     (maybe it scares them)

it is also a mental thing
     maybe that's the hardest part

freedom from my own programming
which was done by
Machiavellian people
They tried to turn me into some sort of
Machine
which they could control
ok
I'm not so opposed to this
but now I have a little time
to be myself
to find myself
whatever they have left me
after their try at TOTAL control

slipping through the cracks in their reality
not believing absolutely everything
looking at believing
as a questionable activity
based on centuries of civilization

how can we even begin
to think that we are free

but isn't that what this place
America
is all about
anyway ?

Prince and Princess

Prince and Princess
and Santa Barbara Swami

The day after
The Prince and Princess
    were here

I pass by
the polo grounds
on my way to the
Santa Barbara Swami's
birthday party
-90 years old today-

Signs are still up
    at the Polo Place
No Parking here
No Parking there
No Parking anywhere
    -for the unrich
    -the uninitiated
    -the hoi polloi
         (from Greek; the many--
         the common people, the masses)
               that's me

I drive slowly
past the open gate
carefully avoiding
Sunday bicyclists
-ten speeds and tight pants-
ok

driving slowly
I look through the open gate
Pavilions are still up
    with flowing white curtains
        tied up
Maybe a little royalty
    still
    lingers in the air
If I had known
I could have been there
The cheap seats
    weren't that much
I could have
    dug a dress
    out of the back of the closet
    and worn a thrift store hat
I can
    behave myself
    when I must
I do like tea
    and mother's side
    was British
         -after all

These two
young ones
whose lives
are so subject to scrutiny
(I'm not good with scrutiny)
I much prefer
to meditate
in quiet, cool places
To go on Pilgrimages
-in California-
-to stay in places
with good food
and air conditioning
I find it helps
the contemplation
Which, it turns out,
is difficult enough.
The ego must be dealt with
It is a poker game
She doesn't want
to give it up
(doesn't know when to fold 'em)
-does not want
to be
   silent
        still
-but everyone else is. . .
subject of the lecture today,
Spiritual Discipline
-uh-oh-
On one level
I am in so-o-o-o much
    trouble

People give their lives to things
Royalty or Spirituality
or maybe both

I question myself;
    What have I
    given my life to. . .
Sometimes it seems we have no choice
--taxes, work, and bad relationships--
They say it's all for learning
All a great school
-I wasn't the greatest fan
    of school-
Passing periods and lunch
    were fun
    sort of
-but I never understood
-why so early
-every-day??
    I could have done
    with Cliff Notes-
    I get the concept
    Park the Kids
    Get them ready
    To be workers
     "twenty years of schooling
     and they put you on the day shift"
     to quote the old Bob Dylan record...

But I digress
we all dedicate our lives
to the path of our own lives
-even the worst addict
only wants
happiness,
bliss, and
sweet release

we are all
wanderers in search of
sweetness...

    and it's there
    so close inside
    just beyond the barrier
    of mind
    of opinion
    of me

It is said;
"the perfect way
is not difficult
for those who
hold no preferences"
those were the jokesters
of old
the ones who
walked on air

even though
the air is
everywhere

it is only for us
to remember
its
presence
here
    

balance

It's a question of balance 

this meditation, contemplation thing

how far into the abyss do you dare to go 

how much of yourself 

can you let go

how much of this bliss 

are you willing to become 

and then the fussing baby 

in the mission church 

and then the tourist with the camera

and the children 

our heart agrees to let them all in 

the example

that we have 

of the candles 

and the christ

and i sit 

and the people come and go 

the Mary Statue 

is a great inspiration to me 

the balance on the head of a pin 

the razor's edge 

as thoughts come in 

and come and go 

i don't own them 

they don't own me 

the peace, the space 

is more important 

to me now 

what is the answer 

who asks the question 

the balance 

of a surfer on a wave 

the expansion 

the peaceful, blissful communion 

i want to stay forever 

the body can only sit so long 

thank you to the indians who built this place 

this place of peace 

on a busy street 

and the belief of the people 

that keeps the doors open 

for a stranger to 

come in 

to sit 

to sit in peace  

Waiting

Waiting. In a doctors office
is a different kind of waiting
will i be ok?
Will this be serious
will it either kill me
or bankrupt me
is it. Cancer
will there be an operation
Why are bodies so delicate
Why are they not like rocks. ?
Strong and granite-like
aging slowly
watching the mountains move around them
left by glaciers
wearing lichen

it's times like this that the phrase
God's will comes to mind

and where is that darn doctor
at least i've got clothes on
this time

Road Trip

Road Trip
this trip
     Giant Sequoias
     and beyond
I'm getting too old
     for this
Myself tells Myself

Sitting in a car
     for a long time
Hiking about
     hurts worse
     than it used to

But the sights
     are more
     delicious now
     somehow

John Muir
     and I
Commune
     with trees
     and sky
     and clouds

The clouds drift through
     the giants-
as tour buses
     come and go

Silence - magic -
     Jurassic-
        dinosaur-
           giant
              trees

and the crowds
     of foreigners
        speaking in tongues

and then a busload
     of modern children
     Who wouldn't
        recognize
           reverence
if it got up in "they" face
and flashed a gang sign

and I with my
peanut butter sandwich
find a stream
to sit by

remembering
why
     I came

The End of the World Today

The world is going to end 

@ 6:00 o'clock today 

Maybe i should run around 

and get things done 

Frantically-

Maybe I should pray

-Unceasingly 

But 

Surprisingly,

my reaction is more like, 

"Well that'll be a relief."

finally one can stop trying-

-stop trying to hold one's end up 

-hold one's head up 

-have good posture 

and eat your vegetables 

And 

it's going to end in fire 

-in earthquake and complete 

destruction! 

this 

is a huge relief for me- 

Because 

it won't matter 

if the kitchen floor 

is clean... 

The kitchen floor 

will be no more- 

its asbestos tiles 

consumed 

in the fires 

from which 

they came 

I'm going to relish the day-

my few remaining hours 

5 to be precise. 

I will party like there's no tomorrow 

or maybe take a nap 

definitely there's an excuse 

in there somewhere 

to have an ice cream 

after all 

It's the END OF THE WORLD !!!

today 

old man band

Tonight
as day turns into darkness

i try to type with my thumbss
on my phone
beam me up scotty
what has the world come to

the old man band is playing loud down the way
screaming like there's no tomorrow
and they were young once
and they'll prove it to you now

turn up those ampS boyz and scream a little louder
never imagining that you have neighbors
or that peaceful contemplation
is the zen way
for this
god made earplugs, grasshopper,
They never had this trouble in ancient China-
--but I'm sure they had others--
probably worse-- . . .