happy friggin' birthday

and so
we've had
another birthday
What's to celebrate?
-The body's one year
     older
but it's hanging
     in there...

it's very zen to say
I'm not this body, not this mind

-and we cause all our
     karma
With our raggedy thinking
     and impure mind

I cannot say
but I can
     meditate
and watch it all go away

to be replaced
with bliss
and calm

that's my favorite
     thing-
I must admit
I can no more
     hide it-
my love for this

hidden from myself
-by-myself
for so many years
How long will I go on
pretending
-that I exist-

existential by all accounts
mystical
     out of all proportion
to this reality

I watch TV
and am amazed at what
     it thinks is so deadly
important

this culture
this modernity
this craziness
     -I hide
but not like I used to
     -in negativity

no

now it's more like
birthdays
They come
and go
and maybe we get a present
or a card
or two

but we have no choice
the body gets older
the world gets crazier
...it is, as it is...

I've been known to buy myself
-a present
-a consolation
     prize-

I've put up with it all
     for another year
I'm beginning to
     figure it out-
The great mystery-
The Whichness of What!

The Answer is...
     there is no Question.

and no one
     to ask it-