Friday, May 30, 2014

Old Hat

It was time for the gardening hat 
To die 
It was thrown 
     With regret 
On the campfire 
In the back garden

It had seen many days 
Of enjoyment and sunshine 
And some rain
It had shared the joys of the garden
The pains 

There was more sun getting through
Than shade being provided
The straws in the hat 
Had given their all 

And so like they do 
By the Ganges 
In India -
It went up in flames -
It's form remaining for 
     Quite some time -

An old friend 
A companion 
Gone -
It's essence to be scattered 
In the garden it helped 

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Dance

So tired of 
So ready to 
Just want 
     To be 

I can't become 
The one you want 
I am not her 
Please allow me 
To be 

But now -
What is this ?
Is he learning 
     To turn 
To lead 
     To walk 

     To tango ?

The gods laugh 
     That's what they do 
For now there is 
     No way 
Those tall shoulders 
     Can be left 
To chance 
     Now there is 
No way 
I cannot 
Dance - !

Sunday, May 25, 2014

after all

can't force it 
this muse 
where has she gone 
today ?

i guess there's nothing 
to say - 

these fragile bodies 
we think we're so special . . .
and we are 
I know we are !

just think about it 
won't you?
all this time and space 
exists - 
all these plants and trees 
to make oxygen 
for me ! 

yes, we mess it up 
here we 
     still are 

gravity holds us down -
which is created by 
the earth spinning round
or the fact that it's so big 
to begin with -
either way, 
     it's awesome   

the sun comes up 
the sun goes down 
without that 
where would we be?

who thought this up 
It wasn't me 
It was all built up
for us 

to experience 
these experiences 
of being human 
here and now

wants us to 

probably would like 
some thanks 

and then there's our 
connection to 

that's the most important 
it gives us a feeling of being 
and belonging 
and life 
and love
and light 

i guess the muse 
had something she 
wanted to say 

after all   

Sunday, May 18, 2014


I look around 
And I see no 
Zen flowers 
Anywhere  :-(

This being has not been 
The infinate 

This body 
Has been 
With fever 
For days -
Has been 

Don't want to 
This way -
Without the flowers -
The product 
Of contemplation -
The daisys of 
The roses of 
Heart felt 

The spice 
Of life 
Has been lacking 

What did Rumi do 
When he felt like 
***** ?

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Waiting. . .

Waiting -
Waiting for lunch 
     Late lunch 
     U said u'd be here at 2:00
It's two 
And I'm hungry
What to do 

How late will u b ? 
Wait 10 min 
Or 15 
What's the rule ?
11 minutes 
Will have to do. 
I'm too hungry to
Wonder anymore
About the etiquette 
Of the situation . . .

And this is why 
A woman must have 
Her own money 
Can't depend 
On some people . . . 

You and your excuses 
I'm sure you'll have one 
I won't ask 
Being with u 
(And eating) 
Will be enough
To calm
The raging beastie
Inside the mind 
- looking for answers 
To Unfathomable 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


- - -
Global warming . . .
- - -
When I came here 
Thirty odd years ago 
We had summers of 
June gloom, 
May grey 
We never saw 
The sun 
It was a local joke 
Want sun? 
Drive to Ojai 
Twenty degrees difference 
Twenty miles away 
Bright sunshine. 

Something's changed 
It's hot, hot, hot 
And it's only 

We used to go to the beach 
On Christmas Day 
Just because we could 
It was our little ritual 
With family
So far flung 

Warmer then on Christmas 
Than in May 

Now it's just hot 
My garden doesn't know 
What to do 

Spring flowers 
Used to drippy fog 
Are wilting early 
I suppose we'll 
Adjust -
The outdoor shower 
Will be used to cool -
Indoors we'll adjust 

Old electrics barely support 
The little window box cooler
But it helps if 
One gets near enough 

Hot flashes have helped 
This one learn to tolerate 
Extremely warm 
Conditions -
Learn to sweat !
Even if genteel women aren't 
Supposed to 

No one told the 
Maker of 
Such a requirement 

But if it gets any hotter 
What then -
If food can't grow? 

Tonight I go 
To dance some tango 
It will be warm 
The doors will be open 
To the street 
Maybe much like 
Buenos Aires 

People walking by 
Look in with curiosity 
What is this foreign 
Scene ?
Americans dancing 
Just as if 
They knew 
How -
Americans enjoying
Embracing one another 
And moving with grace -
And you will arrive late 
And I anticipate 
Your particular embrace. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Bar be que

Old friends 
And new ones 
Bar be que ones 

Friend s 
What a special thing 
It is 
To get together 
Around an outdoor 
And sip wine and 
Talk of things 

-Get to know 
Some people 
From a different 

What do they do 
And how do they
do it?
What do they know 
How do they know it ? 

I get to see 
My life, my time,
My choices 
From some 
Other perspective 

I have chosen 
And life has chosen 
For me 

And I do 
The best 
I can 

Some have energy 
Some don't 
Some have courage and 
The ability 
To cope 

It's good to see -
To get to know 
And what their minds 
Are made of 

And where their hearts 
Have gotten 

Friday, May 9, 2014

No Small Thing !

Butterflies circling -
Playing in a spring garden 
Breeze cooling -
The hot flashes. 
The morning tea 
Brings on 

Freeway sounding distant 
Today -
I slept last night !
And dreamed of 
Many things. 
Workmen taking my 
House apart -
Eating it -
There was a dog 
On my lap 
At a race track 
Don't know what to think 
About that 
The man-friend was there -
But distant 

I have a friend who believes in 
Lucid dreaming 
I think I've done enough -
For one day -
And would rather not -
Dream at all 

Some say the butterfly dreams 
That It is a human sometimes 
Or that this world 
Is a dream 
And we will awake 
Some day -
The Buddha was awake 
And then had 
So much to say 
About it -

I'm tired of talking 
I have existential fatigue -
Along with being 
Old -

But I can give thanks 
For this shade 
And this way 
Of being today 

Nothing hurts 
I have food 
And a place to stay -

The hummingbird comes 
Curious -
And several types of 

If I were a painter 
I would paint 
- today- 
As such -
I am thankful 
I am not -
What a lot of bother 
With brushes and tubes 
Of paint 

I am only compelled to 
Try to describe -
In words 
The glory of 

No small thing!


Sleep -
It is a mystery 
To me 

This afternoon - late 
I lay down for a moment 
And hours passed 
- no one could have separated me 
From that 
What comfort - 
     What bliss 
What an opiate!

But now I wait 
     Late at night
For the idea to dawn again 
For the sleepiness 
     To descend 
Knowing that it's so 
To the quality of 
My life tomorrow 

Fiddling with Facebook 
Looking up old "x's"
Feeling wonderful 
That I can -
That there is no parent 
No overseer -
To say 
Anything -
What luxury 
It may not seem like much 
But from an  over controlled 
I still run -
I am rebelling here 
Staying up till 
Hiding from 

It will all be there tomorrow 
The lists 
Are still long 
I check off one or two things 
In a dulsitory fashion -
Until the next emergency arises 
And takes presidence 

But sleep 
(Which is what this was
Supposed to be about) 
Is no where to be found 
No where around 

As we get older 
It gets more complex 
Some nights - awake 
All night 
For no apparent reason
The sheer cussedness 
     Of life 
The more we fight and try 
To sleep 
The further away 
It drifts 
Anger doesn't help 
Murdering helpless pillows 
Beating on them 
Cursing - 
At three or four in the morning 
Is probably 
Counter productive -
Not in the 
"Sleep therapy"

Was that a yawn? 
The beginnings of a possibility 
Of a return 
To the blessed state 
Of non-existence ? 

One can but try . . .


Dodged a few bullets 
Lately -
Thanking the gods 
For that -
Waiting for the next ones -
Knowing they'll come. 
Also knowing that - that's 

Obviously ordained 
To be that way 
And therefore 
Somehow sacred
No matter how much "i"
Do not approve. 

This evening about 
The incredible conduct of 
Very "x"
How could they imagine that 
Cruelty and jealousy are
Appropriate -

Don't they know 
It all comes back 
On us -
Our hearts are closed 
To the extent 
We close them 
To others 

I suppose they mean 
To hurt us 
Because they 
Have been hurt 

Forgive and forget 
Forgive and forget 

Should have all been done 
By now 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014


Jury duty ---
Save me please !
Boredom has descended 
With palpable palpability

Someone should study this 
Some scientific research is needed 
When people refuse to do this 
Our civilization is through 
It will have crumbled into 
Dust -

This one guy here 
Can sleep 
Sitting up
Why is it guys 
Can do that ?
And I can't. 

My friend will descend
Into dreams 
In the middle of something important 
I'm saying
And awake apologetically 
When I'm done -

As I was saying,
Our civilization 
Will be done -
When we don't allow "them"
To treat us 
This way -
To coral us 
To imprison us 
- For just the day 
So that we may decide 
Which others of us 
Must be imprisioned -
Where they can get 
Free food and lodging 
Paid for by us 

There is a logic here 
I sure of it 

I'm almost 
Certain that this 
Makes sense to someone 
In the great halls 

Sunday, May 4, 2014


He's been to the jungle 
He's taken the drugs 
Led by shamans
He's seen the inside of his head 

Now, one would hope, 
Some knowledge of 
     The heart 
Might be 
That the sky might 
     Open up 

That he might see the heart 
-The spiritual connection 
With -

There is no explanation for 
What he's done 
What he's seen 
But the size of the bugs 
Was obscene . . .

Am I jealous that some people 
Have the health 
To travel ?

I suppose . . .

But from what I've been told 
The greatest journey 
Is within -
The greatest test of courage 
Is to meet ourselves 
In silence 
And let God come in 
And be our friend 

Friday, May 2, 2014

Long Dresses

Reading about the 
"Good old days" 
When doors were opened 
For us 
And spring came gently 
With muslin skirts 
And flowery hats. 

Elegant carriages 
(But oh, the horses 
I do feel sorry 
For them) 
( and no antibiotics, 
What then?)

It boggles the imagination. . , 
But does make for a good story 
-Can't wait to see how it 

She will undoubtedly hook up 
With the old lover she 
Is pining for 
And all will be sunshine 
Once again -

And I pine for you 
But for different reasons , . .
It is a different time 
I can come and go 
I have freedom 
I have rights 

The court can say 
He needs to 
Stay away -
I - as a woman -
Have every right 
To that !

And long dresses 
Would get old -
Real fast