Monday, March 31, 2014

Disappearing Act

Today at the temple 
The air was clear 
The clouds were high 
Above the Santa Barbara 

The breeze was cool 
My mind ran hot 

Just like the old cars 
With their radiators steaming 
On the California mountain roads

Should I or should I not ? 
What will he think 
     And should I care ? 
Can I give up
     Must I not 
Which is 
Where and 
and why is it 
Always all 
My fault ?

I will not sit. 
I will merely bow. 
Myself and myself 

But then
I get 
Settled in
And ask for help 
From above 

As if by magic
I am transported to where 
My mind can get 
     Some air . . .
The poor overworked thing 
Allowed to rest 
To expand into 
     Whence it came 
The feeling of 
To again visit this 

The feeling of 

I give thanks 
I have found 
     This place 
This place inside 
Where I can go 
To disappear. . .

Do we have a choice?

What's it doing raining here?
- in the middle of a drought year -

They build and build
Another five hundred
Unit building 
More condos in the river bed
And then they cry and complain
Where will the water come from 
For these units
-As the rain water rushes to the 

Who are they?
Do they invest
From someplace 

My great grandfather 
Farmed oranges in 
Orange County 
Now oranges come from
Shipped to the millions of people
Who live

What do we do 
With the land 
With the place 
Where we live 
Do we turn it into asphalt 
And concrete?
Do we grow nutritious food 
And stroll in 
Gardens and 
In forests 

I suppose we 
Have a choice 

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Cut the cord/Cut the cable

I've done it 
-Finally done it 
Tired of huge bills 
And nothing on-
But oh I will miss 
Duck dynasty-

Pulled the plug-
Cut the cable-
 in a rush of 
     Budget constraint-

All the news 
I won't know-
All the tragedy I will hear about
Only in passing 
Only second or third hand-

What will I need to know 
That I won't know 
And how will this affect me?

The earth shook last evening-
It was a long gentle shaking-here-
A gentle movement 
     Of the earth
One waits 
One does not know 
Will it stop 
Or will it grow 
Will this be the big one 
Which causes us to 
     Slip into the sea?

I won't know
Until I'm actually swimming 
That it is so 
There will be no commentator
To tell me 
What I should 

The used videos at the thrift store
Two dollars apiece
I watch them avidly
A movie with no commercial 
How nice 
How novel 
     Who knew?

"What if they gave a war 
     And nobody came " 
What if tv viewers 
     Did the same-
All those advertising dollars
     Flapping in the breeze with 
     No one to tease 

It's quieter here
More time to 
To contemplate

Maybe I will 
     Get things done 
Which I have left 

It is raining ??
I will step outside and 

Monday, March 24, 2014

Unfathomable Conversation

What could they possibly mean 
By that 
We want works, of so many 
So much, or no rhyme 
And we will pay a few dollars or
No dollars

Don't they realize that those of us 
Who write 
Have another reason 
Have another rhyme
To the beat of the 
Different drummer ?

They will publish us -
How nice of them 
      To bother 
Now the Internet 
Has given us 
Wings !

-so to speak-

An iPhone and 
- nothing on tv 
Will do 
For inspiration 

An Unfathomable man
Will make 

Aging comes in 
For more 
Which friend has 
Just died ...
And did they die well
Did they get to go easy
Did they give up.
     Let go

Don't, please God,
Let him go yet
-so many bits of him 
I've just met 
So many Unfathomable conversations 
Yet to have

Having said all this 
I will submit 
A few pages of 
Sacred mutterings

But I will never submit -
Never surrender !
As an American Woman...
I don't have to 
Thank the great

Tax Tyme

Can I write this off
This coffee
This latte? 
If I sit here 
And think about 
The irs ?

If I consider 
If I contemplate 
Which line goes where 
And to what do I add 
And or subtract 

What percentage of 
Whom do I declare-
I declare
I want 
Out of here 

I love this country
Love this place
But when it comes to 
Every year 
We hear 
And  gnashing  
Of teeth!

And I again contemplate ...
They know more about me 
Than I do -
Just take what you take -
- leave me alone -

Don't even let me know -
I'll just try 
To live on the rest -
Whatever you choose 
To leave me with -
After all the people get
All the stuff for free
Not me-!
I always fall 
Just between 
The cracks 

Barely enough money 
To eat,
But just enough
Not to qualify

For anything

It's always been 
Like that 

All my life -
I know people 
Who qualify
For everything -

God bless 'em 
God bless us all-

They never have to work 
Another day 
They have found 
A way
Am I just 
Too honest 
Too straight forward
Or too 

What is up 
With this crazy country ?
I can't write off 
A latte ...

Singing Monks

Singing monks 
Dressed in black
They have dedicated their lives to...
So serious and celibate 

Really serious...
Do they not know 
The joy 
The bliss
The lightness
Within ?

The spring of living water
The joy of the spirit
That's all in your book too-
Right along with some very violent 

You sing so sweetly
The psalm which speaks of 
smashing the enemy's children's heads
Against rocks


Monday, March 17, 2014


Some quiet time -
Retreat time. 

Of course
We know
Sometimes the mind 
Has other ideas

Sometimes the mind 
Has a mind 
Of its 

We are gathered here today
To see-
What's what-
To perceive 
The internal, eternal 

And they are there
Not so far away -
Once one gets settled in
Explores the place 
And has lunch ...

It will begin to dawn 
On one 
Oh. There is nothing to do 
No ringing phones to 
Attend to
(Hopefully beyond cell phone

No blue cross bill
To figure out how to pay
Or how to protest
Obama care. 

Not political 

Maybe they won't 
Blow up the world 
While I'm 

Maybe I will gain 
The eternal perspective 
And wallow 
In a sea of God's bliss 

If all 
Goes according 
To plan ...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Song Birds and Butterflies

Such a long drive 
I'm getting too old for this 
Out to the high desert 
To visit friends

Seeing the backs of the mountains 
Covered in snow 
Looking up from 
The sandy desert floor 
Joshua trees. 
Raise their arms 
To the sky

And we drive by 
The skunk works 
Some sort of place 
Where mysterious things are made

There are war planes and rockets 
Out for display
Spy planes and 
Bomb droppers 
Propped up in the desert 
Looking like sculpture 
Such things 
Having been the livelihood 
Of many of my friends 
And family

This one flew in such and such 
How many innocents 
Were killed 
By these 
And what 
I wonder 
Do they have 
What has been created 
Since ?

The technology 
Is mind numbing-
All a bunch of
Nuts and bolts 
Hurtling through
The atmosphere

Some very brave people
Flew these things 
Some very, very brave pilots
Willing to push "the" button
If they were told to

To unleash the wrath
Of mythical gods 

On the heads of 
And kittens-
Song birds 
And butterflies 

It's an interesting place -
This worlld. 

Saturday, March 8, 2014


Love is not for those 
- faint of heart
It is so uncompromising 
It demands of us-
All of us
It takes no prisoners-
It takes us all prisoner

It is maybe something 
We should have 
None of-
It is maybe 
We are here

The rest of life runs 
Before it-
From it-
It is 
A mystery

The beloved appears 
From nowhere 
And steals our heart 
And our sanity 
We don't know why,
-we have little choice 
In the matter 

There are lessons here
Things to do 

Something wonderful-

 to begin 
To get out of 
Our own 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014


Coffee house
Serving medicinal caffeine 
     And bran muffins

Playing old songs 
Through a computer...
Locals chattering on

Where did the time 
These songs are not 

I remember just 
I need to learn to
Play that one 

Just the other 
But life 
Got in the way. 

Now I limp 
A little
As I begin
The walk to the 
Coffee shop

Wondering if the bucket 
Will outlast me

Considering with sorrow
All I wanted to do 
All those dreams
Full of wonder 

Reminding myself to 
All the wonderful things 
I have done. 

And something-
Something wonderful 
Yet to

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Day Trip

A day away 
A day to walk
A day to see the streams run 
Which have been dry 
For a long time
In south California 

Wild flowers will wake up
Small birds will call
And I will remember how 
I am a part of it all