obewan

writing on a smart phone
while watching tv
not much on
obviously
my mother saw the advent
of
the telephone and airplanes
space walks and microwaves
both parents had pacemakers
eventually...
which meant not
using the microwave...
now this phone is
telling me about dropped signals
and things
maybe someday
it can tell me about
the meanings of things
(like life)
but will i believe it?
will i have already
found it?
will obewan tell me
that the force
will always be with me?
and what
will they have invented
by then?
and will it be
worth watching

We Are Not Dead!

the Mayans
and their calendar
have some people
very disappointed

for now we
ARE NOT DEAD!

plans will have to
     be made
money will have to
     be saved
The years
     stretch out
     before us
     once again...

on the other hand,
If we had died,
The Major Questions
would be answered
by now

we would
know

who we are and
what we will be
where we came from
and who
God
is

we would be sitting
chillin'
with Angels
or
the Other...
     (roasting slowly)

this house is
-so damn cold-
in winter that...
-no-
I cannot say that-
for any reason
what-so-ever
I would want
to go there
but
I take heart
when I think
that if there is only
God
and he/she made all
that even in the depths of
hell
there will be some connection with
the beloved
the one

when the Mayans ripped the hearts
out of living sacrifices
or gave their children prematurely
to their Gods
-What were they thinking-?
and why
would we
for one moment
consider

listening
to
them?

our government seems
sometimes like
it's driving for some cliff
and can't get its act together
but
at least
the inflation and tax sacrifice
which they demand
     of their subjects
does not entail
the still beating heart
of the taxpayer

not yet
anyway



 

The Gods of Jokes and Games

It is over
     it is done
Christmas has
come
and gone
again

One of the few things
(besides life)
That if we just
     wait long enough

Will be over
 -will be done-

No more blasting
Christmas Carols
     until this time
          next year

but
the Gods of Jokes and Games
had me doing those same carols
at the-

"new-age church"...

hours and hours of
practice and chording
and downloading
and then
-of course-
it wasn't just right-
-She -
found a note wrong
a word wrong
-Something
She
didn't like!

and suddenly
-It Was All My Fault- !!
fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la
God forbid
We should get
the wrong number
of La's in....

There's a lesson
     in here somewhere...
Not to take it all
     so seriously-
     Would be one-

To wonder
about teachers
and how they teach
and what they teach
and see
what is reflected
in their lives
might be another

It was fun
to go to the very
     back of the closet
and get the old guitar
out
and dust it off-
     change the strings
get the callouses up again

but then,
like the dog with its tail
or the box with its lid
comes
     the rest of it...

for now
I
am
"the musician"
-would be- musical director-
for our motley
     little group
and expected to perform
     for free
at the drop of
"someone else's hat"

I tell myself
..."This has got to be good karma,
right?"
But the Gods of Jokes and Games
Are not done
     with me

...Now She wants me
     to water the
     plants ...

What Would Lao Tzu Do ? #1

Waiting for
     inspiration...

Too much
     furniture
          in
               too small
                     a space

What would
     Lao Tzu do?

     We're waiting
          for the end
               of the world...

So Maybe, we won't
     have to worry
          about it
               anymore

I have a feeling
     the Gods are
          not done
               us..
      yet...

They
     have more
          tricks
               to play

The United States
     is not finished...
          yet

Becoming
     the Land of the
          Free
-The Home of the
     Deficit-

And all of us
     are duty bound
to do
     our best

Which is a handicap
     in a
          way...

I have
     Mother's love for
          furniture

But not
     Mother's
          "Spacious Home" or
              - husband -

I have the Christian
     guilt
piled on top
     of Buddhist
          Practice...

Lao Tzu
     was not raised
with a misinterpreted
     holy word

Was not
     Guilt Tripped
           into
           submission

His mission
     had to do with
     a Water Buffalo
     as transportation

Which never needed
     its oil changed
Nor licence
     and
Registration
        
    

what-so-ever -!-

Ok
     I give up...

Graduating
     Summa Cum Laude
          with a Master's Degree,
              (Decree)

Has nothing
     What-so-ever
          to do


               -with Plumbing-


I majored
     in one of those
          subjects
Which seems
     to have
          no application

What-So-ever

     to the Real
          World

But I'm learning...

    - a guy with a
     wrench
who won't
     rip you off-

is worth his weight
     in Gold

even at today's prices-

especially at today's prices-


These women
     with husbands
          who
               fix things


-Need to pause
     for a moment
          and reflect
               that-

even-though
     he can be a
          pain sometimes

They are not
     left alone
with a
     phone book
          and a growing puddle
               of water
                    under the kitchen sink!

And if they
     call guys
          to come-
There will be
     another guy there
          to talk
               to the guys...

So if your guy
     is at all
          nice

     or kind
          and ...
               can fix things...

Make sure
     he never
           learns to
               dance -!-


for then,
     my friend

he would be
     just too
          wonderful

for words-

     for any words,

          What-So-Ever!
    

an Evening to Remember

yes
it was an evening
to remember

I stumbled only
a few times
when dancing with
the "teacher"

When dancing with
my partner
we swung
around the floor

and I remembered
     why I do this...

the ankle gave
an awesome tweak
when first
     I stepped upon it

It held up after that
I vow
to be more careful
with it

I view that spot
in the yard
with suspicion now

I will get hand rails
for those steps

The minute I can
afford it

there are some things
worth
getting up
and getting dressed for

fox trot, swing, and waltzes
come to mind

live band-
slightly off key
     singer


difficult to find the place
amongst all those tall, trimmed hedges

dark and all, we parked up front
figuring the legitimate rich
had left by now

we the illegitimate
rabble had arrived
and like the look-ee-loos we are
---took cell phone pictures
of everything
and ourselves among them

texting pictures
to people
who probably
couldn't care less

we had peppermint ice cream
for desert
and when our neighbor
didn't eat his
we stole it

melty, stolen peppermint ice cream
tastes better
in between a mambo
and a jive

than almost
anything else
on earth

 

The Hundred Dollar Dance

The Hundred Dollar Dance
at the
Montecito Country Club...

and I fall down
like a sack of rocks
on my back walk
and the ankle gets twisted
and
will
all
my money
be wasted?

What will i wear?
Will I be able to dance?
"Mother" would be
     so proud...

We will get a glimpse
into how
the other half
lives...
(of course, "they"...
will probably not
be there)
We will only get to see
where they would be
on some day
when the place isn't
rented out
to the
wanna bees...

I will have
a glass of wine
(I'm planning)
and then
all will be fine

will my swollen ankle
fit into its shoe?

I have some nice
pearls
I bought when that store
-was going out of business
-in the depths of the
      Great Recession

I'll wear those
nobody will know
(they were 60% off)

It will be worth it
(I hope)
just for the chance
      to dance
it will be like
a vacation
from my hum-drum life
and from the housework
I haven't
been
doing

Waiting For the END OF THE WORLD!!!!!

Waiting for the end of the World
     while living in the motor home 

--the thing that bugs me
     is the whining...

no place
to take a shower
     can I use yours?

I worked all my life
for this shower
two jobs
sometimes three
-years of doing nothing
     but paying for
The American Dream

Was I wrong?
The tiles have fallen
     in that shower
One can see boards
     and lathe and plaster
That one
     is not supposed
     to see

One's Victorian ancestors
would be aghast...

One's X said "HE"
     would fix it
-and so many
      other things-


And what will you do
     if the world does not End
on dec. 21, 2012?

Less than a month
     to decide

My house will
     still be old
and so will I

Many of my friends
say
what a relief it will be-

nothing more to worry about
by 2013

Waiting for the End of the World
It never was ours
anyway

when one watches
"scientific"
things on TV
It can be seen
that the next meteor
or super volcano
or sun storm
will render all our
machinations mute

maybe the motor home
makes more sense
     after all
than
the
30 year
mortgage

while waiting
for the end of the world

 

A Different Story

A Different Story 

(there and back again

and there again)

If it isn't

     one thing 

It's another 

     And then 

Another one 

     after that 

This must be 

     The Way 

It's supposed 

     to be- 

Because 

     it is... 

So I need 

     to quit 

whining about it 

"stay calm 

     and carry on"

This must have been 

     What He meant 

     When He said 

"Don't kick 

     against the pricks"

Bills come like 

     water 

Through the door 

Water falls 

     as rain- 

The latest bill 

     has to do 

     with keeping 

the water, the rain, 

     on the outside 

and not 

     the In...

-Even Hobbit holes 

     require maintenance 

     I suppose

Where is my Sam Gamgee 

When he's needed 

(cannot wait! until that movie 

gets here)

It takes a village 

     and a government 

To make 

     a really good 

     movie 

-With Elves-

(The good Elves 

     don't come cheap)

after all the

Plumbing Work 

and the 

Major Debt... 

---the kitchen sink stops up!

(excellent excuse to go out 

     to lunch)

This would not happen 

if Elves or Gandalf 

were 

involved

Magic wands 

     and Elfin ways 

must have 

     built in 

"magic plumber"

settings and sayings- 

Magic incantations 

     for drain opening 

and bill paying 

and dealing 

     with "muggles"...

-even if 

     that's 

     a different 

     story ... 

Obnoxious ads

Obnoxious ads
on my blog
how could they?

some skinny young woman
in short pants

the millions
I was going to get
are about
     $1.38...

We do live in a
     Capitalist Society
-after all-
-more and more apparent
    to me-

"the quickest path
     to prosperity"...
But for whom?

I muse...
It was supposed
     to be me...
(in my dreams)

inflation
     keeps inflating
I'm getting old enough
     to say...

 I remember when gasoline
      cost .25$$$$ cents!!!!
(there is no cent sign
     on my machine!)

but - as you gasp -
that quarter
was made
out of Silver... !!!

What's the lesson here-
Is it time to start collecting
dried food and gold?
But then, what happens
     if-
"they discover lots more
     Gold"???

I was
a skinny young woman
once

If I'd only known then...
What I think I know now...




    

The BEE / The Mayans and Me

The BEE
Being on the outside
     of the car window
and NOT
     the inside

Brings a sense
     of Great Gratitude
     spontaneously arising-
     from me

As I watch
     said Bee
     flying blissfully away
over the hoods
     of the cars
     stopped at the
     stop light

I contemplate
     what the
alternative scenario
     would have been-

The level of tension
     the level
     of fear
of instantaneous
     decision making
in traffic-

the light turning
     green
The Bee
     buzzing
     around
     me

maybe landing
maybe stinging
     maybe getting
     between my
          collar
          and me
that has happened
     -previously-

-ah relief
-ah gratitude

a chance encounter
with one of
     God's
     Stinging Creatures

Ending well
     on May Day

Hopefully
     a happy omen
a fortunate
     portent
for "collapsing colonies"
     and
Mayan Prophesies...

*     *     *

The Mayans,
and me...
What if they just
     ran out of rock?

That circle
     of stone
     was only
     so big

No way to glue
     on more
or add
     an addendum
     a post script
     a p.s.

Maybe
     the world will not end!
Maybe
     we will be safe
because there's only
     so much
Anyone
     can fit on
Any
     one rock

even the pyramids
     The pointy things-
     Have only so much-
only
     so many corridors
Just
     so many walls
to put
     graffiti on

Even the greatest
     Pharaoh
     must
come to the end-
     and
no amount of
     golden chariots
or
     opium!
will give
the mummy back
that
     youthful glow









5/1/12












































































alternative  

writing

i remember fondly
the days...
(I date myself)

writing was done
on the backs of things
-envelopes
-scraps of paper
-etc.

now
-as I spend hours
puzzling out
how to tell the computer
what I want it to do
(it laughs)
I have a sandwich
and go back again
-for another go round
-another- which button
     do I push now?
I'm just about done
-just about
to go back to pencil and paper
fireplaces and gardens

my garden suffers
as I write this
I tell the plants
I will water them
tomorrow
-they do not laugh-

I see this as a challenge
-for an old lady
-thank god it's not a
---terribly important thing---!
only poetry
and ramblings
and trying to figure out
-life-

computers
are not alive

yet
















 

captive caroling/general petraeus

                                                

Oh God 

     November 13 

The first Christmas Carol 

Is heard Blasting over 

     the sound system 

     at my favorite  

     latte shop

In A Shell Sits Deo---

  

I had forgotten 

how much I hate 

     "enforced caroling"

     "captive caroling"

love the songs 

but they are ruined by 

     electronics 

Blasted at us for 

2 and 1/2 months!

It's time to revise

     my life...  

It's time to begin

     staying out of stores

     and coffee houses 

I would pass a law 

    if I could 

that only 

acoustic instruments 

may ever 

be used 

Ever

     in singing these songs 

     of our Lord and Lady 

unplug everyone 

through the season 

     only Yule logs 

     and reindeer 

allowed!

no ear buds 

     in ears 

No i pod, pad

     anything---

Love notes 

     could be notes 

     then 

Hand written 

     by hand 

General Petraeus

     could then have 

     burned the evidence 

     of his great love 

I was in love once 

and I know 

about 

moving heaven 

     and earth 

to be with 

     the beloved 

much better 

     to be in love 

     with God 

 no emails 

needed then

     only the heart 

sending messages 

     to the eternal friend 

no CIA way 

to intercept 

that 

national election...Hope-ee-um!

ah - the national election

has come

     and gone

 

we can all breathe

a sigh

of relief

 

and trust

that the powers that be

-will be

 

and all the experts

that have all the degrees

will now do their jobs

and take care of you

and me

 

they will make things right

-stop their bickering.

stop their fight, 

and fix it-

 

after all-

this is what we pay

     them for

for this- they get

the really

BIG BUCKS

 

for this

they went to school

for this

they ran for election

     to fix things

     to run things

     to make things right

 

so now I am relieved

that I don't have to worry

that I can relax

     and leave it to them

peace will prevail

     on earth

no one will starve

everyone will be happy

     now

 

now that the winners

     have won

-there are things to  be

      done-

 

we can relax

we are in good

     hands

 

(I believe it's called

     Hope-ee-um!)   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



2 views from the UK

2 views
from the UK
!!!
wow
Just think about it
Great Grandfather
wrote in the giant, old
     family bible
"Leaving Liverpool today"

-mother's side,
     very English

and then, of course,
there's Dr. Who

talk about
full circle
(circles being - very zen)
now
that the internet
is here
for us to
play with
and-
I can watch
the BBC news . . .

Grandfather had an Orange Grove
in Orange County, California
-if you can believe-
I remember visiting
wondering why my mother
kept saying
look at the orange trees
look at the orange trees
as we drove through
     miles and miles of them
One day
     there will be no more
     orange trees here
She would say

I could not believe
that anyone
would cut down
so many trees
ever-
anywhere-

Trees were good for climbing on
and good for shade
and orange trees had
     oranges on them
and -- grew like weeds

why would they ever be
     replaced-
with ----city!!

WHAT
were they thinking?

i still
don't
know

home again

back home
from the long
trip
giving thanks
there were no
-major problems-

greeted by the furry cat
-his winter coat is coming in-
he naps beside me
-but always wants out
     at night-
(the bells I hung
on the door
for him to ring --
may not have been
the absolute
Best Idea...)

the fish are fine
they circle around
-probably glad that
whoever drops the food in-
is doing so again
-vacation food block
doesn't look maybe
so appetizing
or is it me
who thinks
that they
can differentiate me
from a raccoon

the Bills are there
arraigned like a trap
upon the floor
They will jump up
and attack
     my bank account
-as so many things also
are wont to do

I try to preserve
the silence
of the retreat
     Not calling
     you
     The one
     who never has anything
     nice
     to say
Maybe you
will
go
away

I ran outta here
crazy to escape
from problems
and from mind
which I did
with great
expertise
so
tonight
there is
a
"woman's meeting"
(at church)
after a week
of near-silence
will I
crack
and
break
????

oh flagman, flagman

oh flagman,
     flagman
don't flag me

let me go upon
     my journey

But while I sit and wait
I see by the roadside
The green tumbleweed
The golden grass-like stuff
and sage-y green

Which-
without you,
noble flagman,
This I-
never would
have seen

Now we get to go
and crawl along
Led by the lead car
     with the flashing light

today the flagman
     is a flagwoman!

See how far
     we've come
From "Virginia Slims"
to this

and I can watch
the hills roll by
at 15 miles per hour

all the way up
this long hill

What is up
with you people-
repairing
a place
That looked
perfectly good
to me
-last time through
(six days ago)
maybe there was
nothing
better to do

so now
we move

-passing the other side
waiting
-it must be a mile
of cars and big-big trucks
up hill
down hill
and all
around hill

good to be
back home
after a drive
like that !

-and greeted by
the fuzzy cat

ego-maniac

there in the stillness
of the forest and the trees
and the meditation
shrine...

I fall down between
my thoughts and dreams
I get to a place where
I want to be
forever

no mind
no problem

the zen friends
say

why it takes so much doing
to un-do

is a mystery...

The mind needs an
     off switch
-and a manual

-the emotions too-

They drive me
crazy
-on any usual day

maybe now they will
     fall in line
maybe now
     learn quietness
maybe now
     learn to stay
     in the now

they laugh...
they let me be
for a little while

with a tantalizing
taste
of freedom
of space

beatific  
buddha's face

retreating

here I am
retreating from my life
(being very spiritual)
and remembering all the things
I forgot
to bring.

this truth
becomes
"self-evident"
when I go to brush my teeth
and there is
     -no brush
I go to charge my phone
     -and there is no chord

there is one last
-last minute package
sitting at home
put right in the place
-where I won't forget  it

I wish there were
someone
to blame
someone else
who forgot it
maybe "the cat"
made away with it

but
I must
admit
as I sit
cross legged
in the wilderness
That
I
have done it again

and no one else
can be blamed
for it

karma
meets
all timers 
 

one world

all over the world
we are all people
we all deserve
to be free
to "have fun
to go home
when we're done"

we don't deserve
hunger
and strife
we all want
a nice life

big governments
and corporations
are only us
after all

how revolutionary
to just
chill
just begin
to be nice
to each other
and
to ourselves

why add more trouble
more anger
more angst
to the whole pie

I am ego
after all
the ego is three years
old
she likes cookies and
cartoons

but the greater good
is served
by seeing
that
ego
is
only one small part
of this picture

Jesus, "felt the joy
of the Holy Spirit"
I need to feel that

better than
cookies
and
not so fattening

dukha

signing up for another

retreat
preparing to leave
the world

getting too old
for the long drive
but love the
     walking around
and the food

the credit card
still has remnants
of the last visit there

came back
all mellowed out
and the plumbing went-

life
has a way
of intruding
upon our contemplation

hopefully now
things
will
mellow out

I don't know why
they should
except that
I want them to

I suppose it's only me
that can
mellow be

twisting things around
to make them rhyme

not good,
need
to let
them
be

that may be
my main problem here
need to learn to let
the powers that be
have their way
with me

but I only want
the good
stuff

that's normal,
natural,
but
not very zen

Buddha said-
desire and aversion
are the great
bug-a-boos
of life
causing all our
strife

I'm desiring breakfast
and if I don't get it
there will be
suffering...

desire
for pancakes,
too fattening-
desire
for oatmeal
-not nearly as
     keen

dear Lord
let me desire
the good stuff
only what is truly
good for
me

wheat-grass-juice,
not - hot pancakes
with butter and
maple syrup
-dripping-

it's dukha-
it strikes again
in the form
of pancakes
this time

we must be
     watchful
for it is
ever at our heels
nipping
hungrily...

( i'd better go eat )

coffee house blues

walkin' to the coffee house
early in the day
wishin' this guitar player
would just
go away

dude...
I haven't had my
     coffee yet

back in the day
I used to play
late at night
by smokey light
trying to be
the next
bobbi dylan
or
Joan
or Joni

now
I'm walking for my health
-for my blood pressure-
and
first thing-
there you are
with your steel string guitar
strumming loudly with a plastic pick
singing
old songs
not very well

and they were
out of newspapers
and the latte's not that good
the scone is dry
but they do try

What can I say
nothing-
I read what paper I can find

the topic today
is how to make the homeless
go away
"they"
are cleaning up the river-bottom
so now these poor souls
are
all over town
scaring everyone
to death
pan-handling with
pit-bulls

it's tough out there
now-days

a friend
who has a friend
who just returned
from europe
says
there are no homeless there
they have "places"
where people can go
in their own country
to lay
their heads .

I have always seen it
as a threat
by a purely capitalistic
     mind set
-work hard
-go to school
-work harder yet
or you too
will be
like them

with nothing but a stolen
grocery cart
and a welfare check
to call your own
that-
and a killer dog

what oh what
is this world
coming to

(must end on a happier note)
they come here
for the weather
I've heard them say-
it's not 100 degrees
all day
the beach is nice-
people try to help

someone  in the coffee house said
he was offered money
and he wasn't asking
-isn't  a panhandler
-is not homeless
--just dressed for
"casual Friday"
very casual-
so
the happy note is
that there are people out there
who want to help
who might even help
you
or I

and that
music is not dead
-just in traction-

conspiracy theory

listening to an old phone message
mildly panicing
omg - they're coming now

they're coming here
now
and I'm not ready
not by a long shot

so I call
and I discover that
-yet again technology
has
faked me out!

it was an old message
on a cell phone
which I only partly
understand

I am proud that
I understand
as much as I do
and I can send text messages
and sometimes
     answer the damn thing
     correctly

how quickly
such things become
necessities
AND  now they can
track me
wherever I go!

big brother
will know
when
I go to the store
and buy subversive
toilet paper

big sister will be there
when I buy overpriced
petrol
(which, by the way)
I need to do

the government can be
watching me
when I
walk on the beach

I guess the message here
is
they may be
bored with me
whoever sits there watching
will need coffee
to stay awake

the illuminate
will not be illuminated
-watching me
they will wonder
how I manage
to live
such a boring life

but it is necessary
to be a bit boring
when one practices watching
"Zen Flowers"
in ones life

sometimes
they are in a neighbor's garden
as I take my walk
-for my blood pressure-
sometimes
they are with a friend
in conversation
and I remember
that friends are indeed
flowers

sometimes
I forget them
and I miss them
when they are gone
but it is only, I,
who have left
And I remember
that I
need to remember
to listen
to the flowers
as I go on my way
day to day

politics

politics
oh politics
the tv's
gone
insane

and it wasn't very sane
to begin with

why don't they just
--get it right!
     I always
     wonder

they are the experts
they get the big bucks
they majored
     in this stuff

so why
not just do the thing
that
gets it done
and works for all of us
the best

any fool can tell you
any child
     will know

let the people live
and be free
help them to have
     a good time
and don't make it all
     so complicated

easy-peezy
     right
no need to ride around
in big planes
kissing babies
holding children
yelling and calling names

very much like the college
     where I worked
things, oddly enough,
ran much better
when the higher ups
     were absent
at some higher up conference
     or such
and the clerks,
     who did all the work
     anyway,
were left
in charge

just let us
get
on
with it 

freedom

freedom
comes with
responsibility

freedom from you
freedom for me

for so long I cared
wondered what you thought
of me

now I know ....
sort of pissed.
don't really care-
getting on with it

Now I have my dream
of freedom
of getting my own trip
-together
on my own

no one to blame
no one to call
no one to wonder
if they care
at all

absolute freedom
has its good points
and bad

great relief
great sorrow
great wonder
at the days
which stretch
     out before me 

centering

one must imagine
all these
words
nicely centered
on the page

over there, more ->

not so much
crowded
to the left

as is the case
now

You see
I haven't a clue
and don't
much
care to

oh I care somewhat
but I think
it has to do
with tabulation
or margins, margarines,
not butter

it's late...

that's the stuff
I never learned
in class --
I was daydreaming
or some such
but then the machine
I learned to type on
was a Machine
with mechanical thingeys
to change
I got quite quick
at that
zip- tab change
and slam the carriage
back again

now everything
is digital
and lives
in
cyberspace

but centering
is still important
(if only I
knew how)
centering may be
even more important
now

for without
the center
of the circle
Where would we be?
-Believing in politics,
pie in the sky promises,
and the nightly news.
Now I'm no conspiracy nut,
But!
It does seem quite coincidental
when
the little green men
and the men in black
are seen having tea
with Alice
and that damn disappearing
cat
Cheshire,
I believe.

oh god-
sometimes these poems
do wander on

and that brings us
right back
to centering

you see  

It's Late

It's late
and
getting later

I've promised myself
repeatedly
to
stop

--go to bed
--get ready for tomorrow

lots to do
lots to do

but then i think
this moment
     is so precious
and
     will never come
again

I wonder if
all our planning
and worrying
will be worth it
or if
zen surfing
is what we
should have done

It's late
and getting
latter

I'm old
and getting
older

What would I do
If I had a million dollars
(-watched a program about
a lottery winner-)
I'd do just what I'm doing
-but much more elegantly, of course,
and on a much newer computer.

I'd practice
Zen surfing
through life
even more intently
Because I'd have the time
--maybe then-- I should find more time
for that now

for Zen surfing
takes no time
it is
     -as we are

plus
there'd be
all that fuss
about tickets and numbers
and such

lots of interviews
and wondering
what to do
with all that money
all that stuff

I'd be so busy buying things
that my Zen
might fly away

probably better not to be
so lucky anyway

maybe I'll buy
a ticket or two
tomorrow

one thing I never do
is listen
to the good advise
I give myself

well i do listen...

--but this could
be a sign...

-oh, give it a rest
and get to bed
with dreams of sugarplums
dancing in your head-

particularly uninspired

i am feeling
particularly uninspired
today...

hopefully
I can reach inside
deep down into
     depths "unplumbed"
and find something
to be happy
about

the backache
has left...
I hesitate to celebrate...
'lest it return,
-the chiropractor is
     richer,
and I do give thanks
that
I can
move again

the money situation
will be anemic
     for awhile-
I have to go get
     blood drawn-
but
not today

watching part of
an episode
of "hoarders"
I am reminded
That I need
to clean my house.

there is a dance
tonight
at which
my x
will be on stage
and on "point"
maybe I can
look forward to
the drama
of that

it will be
interesting
-if nothing else

there is
the coffee house
down the street-
this may be a day
for medicinal
hash-browns,
eggs,
and coffee

nothing seems
to cheer me up
like not having
to cook
in the morning

-I envision myself
as Martha Stewart,
-energetic
and capable
-making
crafty things
in matching colors
-but don't they
put you in jail for that?
One had better be careful
not to be too
crafty...

I give thanks
-that I am not
too crafty-
-that I have, thus far,
stayed
out of jail.
That, in itself,
is a cheery enough
thought
to get this day
started
 

 

ice cream

how do i justify
     ice cream
on a Sunday afternoon

how do I justify
     ice cream
when i'm trying to lose
     weight

what has happened
     lately
which would give me
     a great excuse

has there been
     great tragedy
have I been especially
     good

no to both
the above.
one good,
one, not so much

I did wash the dishes
but I'm not sure
that counts
enough
(but there were
an awfully lot
of dishes)

I could just
rebel
against my better judgement
throw caution
     to the winds
and cholesterol...
-frozen yogurt-
-not sooooo bad-

riding the bike
to get it
-counts as exercise-

the lecture today at
"new age" church
was about
-not
thinking too much

nothing was said about
ice cream...

that was then, this is now

oh yea of little faith
I cried over 1500$ plumbing bill
then that turned into 11,000$ or so
so now I am in debt
     for awhile
this life
is not for sissies

I must not despair
things could be worse
-a lot worse
-i suppose...

the day dawns
with overcast
-my neighbor and I
     commiserate
-we're glad to see the return
of our natural fog

we were having
too much sunshine
-not used to it here-

I drive to church
-early
-thinking
this town would be a good place
-for vampires
-something that would like
the fog
the general feeling
of hiding from
the sun.

it's by the coast
it's rarely warm
it's usually damp
we lose the trick
of being warm

sunshine and heat
seem unnatural

vampires,
plumbers,
both have something in common
-the sucking sound
of blood
of money
-

-plumbing-

oh the sweet
     gurgling
          sound
of a drain
     well done

We have returned
     to civilization
We have returned
     to the way
Things
     ought
          to be . . .

It may not
     seem like
          much
     to you
But the large bucket
     of water
          in the yard
Got old fast-
Especially
     as it has been
          overcast-

Now, -that
     most civilized
          of things-
The indoor
     shower-
With the soap
     and shampoo-
Is once again
     operative.

-although now
    the bank account
    and the credit card
    suffer mightily

It's like
     "whack-a-mole"
          this life

One thing
     and another
And a $1,500.
     pipe

the "special" day...

It is the eve
of the birthday
I always think
I should have
done something
by now...
    Accomplished 
    some wonderful 
    Accomplishment

where did i ever get 
such an idea 
it only makes me 
crazy 
only makes me 
sad 


I need to be more 
zen about it 
-need to stop listening 
to the "social media" 
or the "unsocial media" 


now I'm lost in fonts and sizes 
and I can't get back 


so much for technology 
or my lack of understanding 
of it 


let's see... 
what's my goal 
for the year ahead 


some say we should have goals 
many and various and daunting 
-giving us a reason to get up 
     in the morning 
-or a reason 
     to stay in bed 


some say we should have no goals 
-that the earth is only a dream 
-and our dreams
     merely a misunderstanding 
of the id, the ego 
     and the Iliad


definitely, for the year ahead, 
I should understand fonts and sizes
and learn how to spell definitely, 
definitely!


The only person I know 
with really definite goals 
has the most migraines 
maybe that's the true measure 
of success 
in this world 
the most migraines 
the most pain killers 
and the longest time 
spent 
in a darkened room 
--wins!


you can see 
I'm not real jazzed 
about 
"my special day"


some cultures 
don't celebrate birthdays 
at all 


maybe I 
could move there   

Rincon, California

Rincon, California


Life is precarious
     at the best
          of times

This thought
     comes
          to me
as I picnic
     at the edge
          of the sea

These people
     who live
          here
do they never
     contemplate
the volume of
     salt water
which they are
     expecting
     to stay
     in one place?

High tide-
     Low tide-
a matter of feet-
Vast Pacific Ocean...
     really big!
really, really big.

Those along the
     Rincon
Who surf and
     play
(and picnic)

We realize
     we are rolling
     the planetary
          dice

True anywhere-
     but so very
          much so
     -here

all that ocean
     has to do
          is burp
And I
     and
my favorite
     pick up truck
are washed
     into the
          sea

Washed into
     oblivion-
and multi-million
     dollar houses
along with us

That would be
a truly
     Democratic
          moment.

The Rich People
     and me,
going for
     a little swim
together
     in a raging
          sea.

leaks

Today
will be a day
like any other

but more than that...
-the plumbing has broken
-showers can no longer be taken
     here
-what to do
-what to do

everything takes money
-so much money

where to find this
-money
-this paper
-upon which it is printed

-it is printed...
whether or not
-we can eat and what
-whether or not
the plumbing will be fixed
whether or not
whether or not

this poet
needs a patron
-great idea...
-where to find one
or two or three

meantime i must figure it out
i must "bite the bullet"
(so to speak)
no great revelation here
just...
-the everyday
-the great and mighty stuff-
about which

i have no clue
it always confuses me
always confounds me
why must it be all so
     pedestrian yet
     inexplicable
poets are not
the most practical people...

we need a "hot line"
a 12 step group
a subsidy
a march
     (we wouldn't want to march-
     much too -out doorsy- and noisy)
social security for poetic "disability"
food stamps for plumbing
     but then
     one would have to apply...

alright, alright, myself tells myself
quit messing around
and get to it
 

the inevitable

the birthday
     approaches
like the shark
     in "Jaws"
duh- dnd, duh-duh
(the sneaky theme song of the shark)

the birthday song
 - should be more like that -
     not this "Happy Birthday to You"
            --bull s#$%!!

What's happy about getting older?
Except that the alternative may be worse.

We don't really know
We're not really sure
and therein lies
     the trouble
we're sort of stuck here
     for now anyway
stuck here
     not knowing
trying to
     figure it out
what to do
     with the remaining years
          -want to do my best
          -want to please
               the powers that be
                    on earth and in heaven

we have the choice
     -to do what's best
 and to figure out
      -what that is
      -what that could possibly be
      -what that means for me

that seems to be the game here

use our free will-
     to please the Gods
     -the fickle, capricious
      all powerful
      Gods
the ones with tornadoes and earthquakes
in their hands
the ones who throw
tsunamis
at us
the Gods who sneak up quietly
with cancer and strokes and all manner
of unmentionable maladies

but for all this
we must just
     love them
God is love
love is all we have
     in the end
and all we can give
     the Gods
That is the one thing
They do not have
     (I have read)
our love, our adoration

I have decided
     it is their world
     their way
At long last
     I give up
(Or at least
     try to)

for so long I have been
trying to tell the Gods
how I would like it to be

-it seems,
they don't listen to me

I'm sure they have their own
     agenda
     their own plan
They do not share it
     with me
Top on my list would be
     leaving out this birthday
But do they listen?
     -no-
They have some noble plan
     no doubt
For how could a God's plan
     be other
     than noble?

And so I must
     with great humility
     and reverence
     concede
That their GREAT PLAN
     for me
Is that I
     with equanimity
     will be...

Sung to...
Congratulated...
     maybe get a card or two
Even If I DON'T AGREE!!!
 

    


  

cat attack

the black cat
visits

what can I say...
He is not "mine"
     but I feed him
          anyway

He has that kind of attitude
If he doesn't like what's being served
your feet aren't safe
     he doesn't grab and bite
           very hard
     but you know
He disapproves

I'm sure he learned this
at "his" house
where there are two dogs
     two kids
and nobody pays any attention
     to anything
I'm sure he was hungry
and they were walking past him
and they were reminded
     in no uncertain terms

but when he comes here
he has my undivided attention
and all the petting he can endure

we are friends
     -pals
especially when
he gets his way

-don't disturb him
     when he's sleeping
-don't pet him
     irresponsibility
-buy the expensive
     littlest cans of cat food

and you may be
     rewarded
with a purr
with a nuzzle

What can I say...
-the little ears
-the little face
-the expressive tail

Am I becoming the old woman
     with the cats?!!
at least for now
There is only one-
Only the handsomest,
     most lovely kitty
In the whole entire world

-love is a many splendor ed thing-

The Dream

It was a big snake
     a really, really,
     big snake
like a python
     with a big mouth
     and big fangs

I had to hang on
     with both
     my hands
As hard as I could

It was trying
     to bite
     my face

It was inches
     from me
Trying to kill me
     with
     poisonous fangs

Hard to hold
     onto

Squiggling-
      Squirming-
     like a really big snake
          would do
Very muscular, sinuous, scaly
     Beautiful-
     And deadly too-

Maybe it's because
     life's been like that
     lately
Trying to
     bite me
To squirm
     out of my
     hands
Really too much
     for me to
     hold onto
Really too much
     for me
     to understand

Or maybe it was
     the midnight snack
With the
     hot sauce

Either way

Waking up
     was not
     a bad thing
This morning

It was nice
     to see
The REALLY
 BIG SNAKE
     fade away
           with
           the light
           of day

Pure imagination. . .
     as they say
     (in their
     Zen-like
          way)
-is true with so much of
the essence of me
and the essence of you-

and then...
I ponder, if the universe knew,
it was
April fools day
too

hold on

 Waiting on hold
-waiting to talk to a human
-yelling at a "machine voice"
   doesn't get me much
   in the way of satisfaction
but
just in case...
"this call may be monitored
for quality assurance"....
What kind of quality is this?
     You are a mega-giant corporation.
     One which sells stock.
     One which is a pillar of the economy.
     And you #@%&* can't hire enough people
     to answer your #$@%&* phone???
So monitor this call-
Record this call-
I'm telling your recording
all about it
-as I listen to your "soothing" music
-which only irritates me more!!!
and then the "machine voice"
comes on to advertise to me
That's not
very
soothing

6 to 9 minutes ...
how many millions of dollars
is this large monopoly worth
I can't go anywhere else to get this
product, this electricity

but when the "person" comes on
I'm as nice as pie
-for I realize
that the job he has
is not very jazzy
-not very fun
and it's not his fault
at all
that
the
machines
have taken
over
the world

Atlas Sneezed

and why
did the gods
create colds

Sometimes it seems they play with us
like the Greek gods of old

sitting on their mount Olympus's
looking down

viruses, germs, bacteria
could bring down Hercules

-no need to cut his hair-
or was that Samson
-I'm too congested to care- 

Argentine Tango

and I see you dancing with some other 

and I know I 

     wouldn't want you anyway 

far too superior and regal for the likes of me 

I'd do something 

     I just know it 

too outrageous for words 

and 

I wouldn't 

even know it... 

but occasionally 

the dance 

comes my way 

and I get to hold 

onto you 

and run around the floor 

I'm getting better 

at it 

and I hope to one day

impress you no end 

with my prowess 

with my grace 

-with the satisfied look on 

     my face

 

They call this dance 

the four minute love affair 

and I'm thankful 

for the lack of entanglement, involvement,

And all the rest--- 

This dance gives 

     the best 

The connection 

The power, and the grace

the tension between 

the two lovers 

-for four minutes 

anyway  

 

new gadget  netbook  notebook     there is no return    how do they expect us to write   in long long  lines  like this    what person programed this     obviously was not       did not type out poems in the coffee shop     maybe there is a way       a way  i have yet to discover      just wait a bit until i can afford a new cell phone     then we will see what it's like to write from every possible place   i hate to say     pen and paper may still be the best way