Perspective

There is 

     Sitting 

In the garden

There is 

     Listening -

- Time of 

     Year -

Sounds of birds -

     Sound of distant 

          Road -

It's a new year 

     Tonight !!

This year 

       I don't feel 

          So

     Depressed

          About

          It - ? - 

Partly,

          It's you -

     The Mad

          Professor,

     The Mad

          Scientist,

 - my dear -

Partly it's been

     Counseling -

And then 

     There was

          That

Last 

     Samadhi

Offering a new 

     Perspective -

On

     Ego

          Mind . . .

Organizing Heaven

New phone 

New buttons 

Remember old 

     Password

( yeah, right) 

Look up old password

Download new app. 

Whatever happened to 

     Paper and 

          Pencils 

With no buttons 

And no 

Passwords 

The world is getting 

Together 

As we all look at little screens 

And talk to each other 

Instantaneously 

Across oceans

     With the speed of 

     Light 

Maybe we can share 

     The light 

Those of us who believe 

That it is better to talk 

Than 

     To fight 

No one in my mother's 

     Generation 

Would have 

Believed 

     It true

She used to talk about how 

Airplanes and cars and telephones

And tv 

Had been invented in her lifetime

We may all count our blessings 

That she was never quite able 

To tell the world 

What to do. 

Because -

I am sure she 

Would have 

And even more surprising -

The fact that she felt 

She had a right to -

And knew 

Better than 

All the rest of us 

May she rest in peace 

For I know she has a big 

     Job to do 

-organizing heaven !

Conviction

Look back 

Look within 

All the silliness 

     Of this world 

Will keep on 

      Spinning 

I'm sure 

    Of that 

Of that 

     I am convinced 

Lunch

And the sky blew away 

That Day 

The deer walk quietly by 

The light rain falls 

And I 

Find 

I 

Exist 

Not at all 

Everything they ever said 

Everything I've ever read 

About 

The existence of 

Space and time 

Here and mine 

Seems to be so true 

There really is no u 

At a time like this

All that is, is this 

This moment in time 

This energy rise-

and blowing out 

The top of ones

Head 

Now what -

I wonder 

Will all this do -

To a life -

To a person -

What does one do 

With infinity 

And love -

Who is there left 

To do anything with it 

And yet 

We must 

Go on 

In joy we 

Go 

To lunch 

Cookies

I always say . . .

I will take these cookies 

And they will 

Last all week 

I will measure them out 

So many each day 

And have great willpower 

About it

I hesitate to mention 

how many times 

I have had this same plan . . .

I hesitate to admit 

That now, on the first day 

Of contemplation 

There are only 

     A few left 

And those will do 

For 

After dinner 

However I do not despair 

About this 

For in my great wisdom 

I know -

     That

I have 

     Lots more things 

Of so much greater importance 

     To despair 

Much more deeply 

     About 

Bored Already

At the retreat

The worldly mind wonders 

     Why I come here 

Mine and others too -

Well 

What do you do 

There ? 

Just to meditate and walk 

And watch 

Deer walk by 

And squirrels climb 

To the sky 

To hear the rain drops 

Fall

From the high trees 

As the squirrels 

Disturb 

The leaves 

And a family of deer walk by 

Mom and dad and two young 

Adolescents 

After a meditation 

Such things 

Seem to have

     deep meaning . . .

Back in town 

It is hard to 

Slow down 

Enough to hear 

The wind in the trees 

And 

The birds call 

The freeway roar 

Tends to wash away 

Whatever quiet 

The mind has 

     Aspired to 

But here

The loudest sound 

Is in my head 

Complaining of being bored 

Already 

"Breezy"

Why oh why 

Did I stop by 

The thrift store 

Today 

No ordinary store -

In this one 

There are kitties 

To pet and talk to 

They have been rescued 

And can be 

Accepted into ones home 

Ones life 

Ones 

Heart . . .

They can devastate ones wallet 

What was I thinking ?

To hold the little grey kitten 

On my lap 

And pet her

Luckily I'm out of town 

For a week 

And by then

Who knows -

The little grey kittie 

May have found

a new home and be

Worming 

Her way in 

To someone else's 

Heart 

Maybe by then I will have 

Come to my senses -

Realizing I 

Can't afford the 

Vet bills and food

And scratching posts and toys 

And cat trees -

-It could go 

Right  over there 

By that window 

She will love it 

There -

Oh dear 

I fear 

I may lose 

This particular 

Battle

If they sent kitties to the front lines

The fighting would have to 

Stop 

While everyone 

Found a piece of string 

To dangle enticingly

Between various 

Paws

Of many colors

Why don't they realize 

There are better ways

To spend their time -

Besides

Battle 

There are cats to save 

To say nothing of 

Kids -

And all the rest of us -

And the world -

Yes -

Better ways 

To spend your time -

Different uniforms to 

Wear 

Ones 

like robes 

Of

Loving kindness

We need that 

In 

This 

World 

We need it now 

So 

Desperately 

Maelstrom

The gardener today 

Didn't show 

And I'm so grateful 

Last night's silly dreams 

And 

Wandering mind 

Now are free 

To catch up 

With me 

I have scheduled work 

And instead

I find rest -

I am able 

     To be thankful 

For such a time

Such a break 

Such a place within 

The maelstrom 

     Of life 

Tango Tonight

They seek to instruct 

They say

     It must be 

     This way 

Only 

That's what I love

About this dance 

It doesn't care what

     They 

     Say

It 

Goes its own 

Way 

Twists and turns 

In complete rebellion to

Any sort of controlling

Thing 

Or idea of

They will try to 

     Tame it 

To

     Train it 

And it will 

Laugh and dance 

Away from 

Them

In this I take 

Heart 

In this I find 

Consolation 

A pure form of

Rebellion 

Except that it

Wants nothing 

From anyone 

It wants only

To be itself

And to include us

Within it 

Rain 2

It rained 

And it rained

And it rained

Last night

Couldn't sleep -

Lay awake listening 

To the miraculous 

Sound

Of buckets and buckets

And buckets -

Coming down 

This morning 

     I walked around -

Marveling at mother natures 

Sprinkler power -

No need to set these timers 

Or haul the hose around 

- Now if she would just do this every week -

On cue 

But -

Probably not -

She 

Likes to 

Surprise us -

Sometimes 

Too much so -

Sometimes washing people 

Away -

But today 

All is glistening and 

Clean 

Fluffy white clouds blow over -

Chased by a friendly breeze

The hills will begin 

To green -

The mountain streams

Will pour willingly

Down 

Looking even more beautiful 

When contrasted with -

The long 

Hot 

Summer. 

Rain

Halloween party

And it rains 

We feel the first drops -

Unbelieving 

It's been so long 

Since water has fallen from 

The sky 

Reservoirs are 

Half down 

What will life be like 

With less water -

Already lawns 

Are left to brown -

Maybe life in south 

California 

Would become 

Not so much like 

Hollywood would 

     Have us

     Believe 

But more like

It actually is -

More like 

The Padres and 

     The Indians

Perceived -

More like 

Dust and 

Sky -

Hawks

And seagulls

Circling

Quiet

Quiet

Maybe I have finally learned 

To be 

Quiet

When they ask of me -

What I want 

-And what they want me 

     To want 

I can shrug and smilingly say 

     What - ever 

I can answer nothing 

     And then be 

Quiet 

Because 

I have learned 

They don't listen 

Anyway 

They want what they want -

They are 

Type A's 

I am only here

Because I'm here 

And 

I don't really care

Either way 

Oh yes 

I should be 

Passionate 

About it !

But 

I'm not -

Sometimes I try 

To care 

But 

I don't -

And I love this 

New way 

Of looking at things 

The lord God made us all -

So let her 

Worry about 

It

Unintended Consequences

Getting myself 

Out on a limb again 

I always do 

It's this blogging business 

I know 

There will be 

Unintended consequences 

There always are 

Like my friend 

The NASA scientist 

Says

-And they were dealing with 

Space flight -

-And really complicated mathematical 

Things -

It boggles the mind

I can't imagine 

And even they -

With billions of dollars 

Of budgets and things 

had 

unintended consequences 

To contend 

With 

Obviously

Please

Leave me, love 

For then I would know 

What to do 

I can morn I can cry 

I can feel 

Very sorry 

For myself 

That 

I know how to do 

-had a lot 

Of practice 

With it 

Many years 

     To perfect 

But not this 

Not this patience 

This caring 

This sweetness 

How to deal 

With it 

How to 

Be good enough 

For it 

Please, please 

     Go away 

So I don't have to grow 

Don't have to know 

The true pain 

Of eventually 

Being without you 

Through death or some other circumstance 

Circumstances 

     Being what they are 

And seemingly 

Always 

Occurring 

With inexorable 

Crushing karma 

I need another 

Starbucks coffee 

Today 

     obviously. . .

The Train

What can I say 

About today 

?

These days seem to 

Run together

Like a train 

All connected to one 

Another 

But with no 

Conductor 

To tell us when 

We are leaving 

The station. 

Instead we must guess 

And wonder about the 

Departure time 

And the destination 

We are pulled 

By gravity 

Like a Diesel engine 

By time 

By fate 

What can I do 

About that 

How hard should I try 

To try 

Or should I sit back 

And sigh 

The ticket has been 

Purchased 

And we will arrive 

When we 

Arrive 

Anybody?

Is anybody out there ?

What do u think ?

Am I wasting my time ?

But not .

Because 

I enjoy 

This -

I imagine an audience 

Someone reading 

In cyberspace 

I sometimes wish 

I knew

Who they are 

And do they tune back in ?

Or just 

     Laugh and leave 

Looking for the porn sites -

Which R a lot 

More fun 

I suppose 

I wouldn't know 

? 

Having always been 

Too serious 

By far 

Thinking there's an answer 

For who we are 

And where 

We find ourselves 

Today

The Calling

The talk today . . .
In church today
     -About being all we can
     -Doing all we want to
And
     Knowing
          What that is

I am inspired -
As I lay upon
     My couch -
For this is something
I Truely
Want
To
Do -

To lie
Here
Within the influence
Of
The little
Air conditioner box -
I am fulfilling
A deep and basic
Calling
A deep and inspired need
To rest awhile
And to be cool while
     Doing it


What a wonderful invention
This -
A box -
Whose sole reason
     For being
Is to produce
     Cool air.

Like that
I would like to produce
- for the people of this earth
Something Truely helpful
-Truely wonderful
It would be my gift
     To them
It would be my
     Calling
My talent
My contribution
     To the collective
I would produce
A certain cool air
A certain savoir-faire
I would
     Bring down the light
Which would help their
     Plight
Their plight of being trapped
By materialism
In material body and mind
     Boxes

This would be my
     Alchemy
My gift
Probably no one
Would ever know -
But "they" say
It does matter -
Somehow
     It clears the air
Makes people
     Less prone to fight
Makes available more
     Spiritual
Light

Wandering Off

She forgot 

     To wear 

Her 

     Underware

To the 

Country club

 - formal 

     Dance -

          (I heard) 

She used to be

     So stylish

     -so fine-

One time -

She was lost 

     Buying gas 

And had 

     To ask -

The way 

     Back home 

She almost stole 

     My boyfriend 

          Once 

She was as good

     As that!

But no matter how 

     Upscale 

We are ...

- Turquoise  Jaguar 

In the garage -

(She is still living 

     Across the street 

     From the beach 

With famous 

Neighbors)

But, no matter what -

     There is this 

          Pesky 

     Natural 

          Law ...

-won't go 

     Away

-cannot be 

     Reasoned 

          With -

That -

We all go 

     Away -

One day 

The game-board -

     This holographic 

          Video game -

Cannot really 

     Be won 

Some leave 

     Quietly 

Some loudly -

Some wander off -

Some are welcomed 

     In -

     To 

The arms of 

     God -

And know 

The way 

Axes

I no longer have 

     An axe to grind. 

I gave up my axes 

     And my grinding wheel ...

The I that had these things 

Is becoming less 

     And less -

She is seeing 

     Some things 

As baggage 

Some others 

     As burdens 

Trouble and complications

As

Something

To be avoided 

Now she needs 

     To give up 

Sugar and wheat 

     And 

Become neat

Good luck 

     With 

          That !

The Tango Will Miss Me

The Tango will 

     Miss me 

For I'll be 

     Waltzing 

With you 

A person can't do 

     Everything at once 

It seems 

We will be dancing 

The specific steps

Of correctness 

Not the 

Improvisational randomness 

Of the moment 

These people 

At this place 

Don't know 

How it can be done 

     A dance 

     With no steps and no beat 

     And only holding close 

          And feeling the heart beat 

What can this mean 

What can it be for 

     How could we sell it 

     For a profit 

And of course, 

That's the beauty 

     Of it 

Perfection

Everyone seems to have 

Their own 

Agenda 

Wanting me to follow 

Theirs --

Even the six year old 

Who makes up rules 

To suit herself -

She let's herself win 

But not every time 

So as

Not to

Create suspicion -

She's too cute 

To say no to -

Now 

But someday someone 

Surely

Will

Life itself will 

Have it's way -

It always does

And you -

You

Want me to be 

Someone special 

Someone perfect 

And I -

Just want to 

Run 

To hide -

The answer is 

A certain degree 

Of confidence 

I suppose -

And

Better hiding techniques 

-Camouflage 

-Smoke screens 

-Carefully covering 

     Tracks 

Let the six year old compose 

-all the rules she wants to 

But you -

Will have to know 

That I'm not perfect 

Now -

And won't be -

Probably -

Ever

Scrape, Scrape, Scrape

Teeth scraping 

How can this be right ? 

She puts on her blue gloves 

And cracks her knuckles 

I take a pill 

Scrape, scrape, scrape 

Say a mantra to myself 

Listen to oldies playing there 

Breath deeply 

Scrape, scrape, scrape

Visualize the third eye 

Feel the little Valium kick in 

Turn your head this way

Turn it that way 

Open mouth 

Close mouth 

Brush more often 

and floss 

I look out the window at the beautiful 

View 

Ojai mountains

And eucalyptus trees

Why me ? 

Why am I stuck 

To this particular body 

And forced to feel its 

Pain ? 

Why isn't there a switch somewhere 

I can turn 

Off my connection to 

It 

One which is not the final 

Switch 

One which is not available 

Only once

And possibly 

Forever 

Sometimes I envy those 

Who 

Never think

About it 

Those who never ask 

Such questions 

And don't 

Care 

And then she's done 

For awhile anyway

On the way home today 

I will have a donut 

That's what I'll do 

That will prove 

( nothing to anyone ) 

But it will taste so good 

- I'll have two -

Gee-whiz

Sitting on the front porch

In my chair 

It's comfortable here 

Day is nice 

Not too hot 

Not too cold 

Beautiful breeze 

No obnoxious wind 

Neighbors are quiet 

No yelling today 

Sitting on my front porch 

Very zen 

Contemplative 

Trouble is . . .

I know 

If I open that door,

That front door, 

There are things to do in there -

More things to get done 

Than I can possibly do -

Dishes probably sitting in the sink 

Waiting patiently 

To be washed 

Dust on things 

Waiting patiently to be 

Removed 

Floors to sweep 

Stuff - to be . . .

     Done

     Something with ?

Not to mention paint and plaster and 

Other mysterious things 

Like backs of closets 

And bottoms of laundry bins 

( bin currently buried by 

Laundry) 

And so I contemplate 

How long can I legitimately 

Stay here . . . ?

If I 

Camped out 

In the yard 

I would never 

Have to 

Go in there -

I have heard that 

Gypsies sometimes 

Do that 

Leave the house empty 

And live in the

Yard -

Excellent idea there -

The postman just came -

Delivering bills 

Ruining my 

Zen-like mood 

And I'm getting hungry -

Gee -

Whiz

Recommendations

Tango dancing last evening 

Latte this morning 

One would think I lived in 

     Paradise 

     Here . . .

Very scary and invasive 

Medical test coming up 

And how 

To pay for it ???

Paradise is balanced by 

     Other things 

So they say 

     Is the way -

Taoists believe 

That the center of things

Is the best place 

To be 

But the winds of change 

Blow a gale 

Sometimes 

So to bend like 

Bamboo

And not to break

Would be the thing 

To do 

Within the moment 

Is contained 

The flitting butterfly 

The ocean breeze 

The lack of things 

To do 

Today 

The seasons change 

Autumn

Is just 

Beginning here 

(Gotta get the old heater fixed) 

But I must remember this 

This moment 

This way of being 

Has more to recommend it 

Than most 

Summertime

Sitting In Lowes 

(Store) 

On their lawn furniture 

Padded nicely. 

Potted plants nearby 

Free wifi 

Air con. 

Nice music playing 

No complimentary coffee 

     Anywhere 

Probably just as well

Summer umbrellas 

     On sale 

And so it goes 

     Signs of autumn 

In the air. 

We do 

     What we can 

To get by. 

Music

There's a sadness 

     To the air 

When you're not 

     Here 

The air itself 

     Is melancholy -

It hasn't got you 

     To wrap itself 

Around 

And the ground -

It hasn't got you 

Walking on it -

It is lonely for your 

Footprints 

The chair 

Wonders where 

     You are 

The arms -

And the footrest -

The empty 

Wine glass 

On the shelf -

We all cry 

And listen to 

Andrea Bocelli 

Pour his heart out 

With symphonic 

Backing 

I need 

Symphonic help here 

Some timpani 

Some conductor 

     To tell me what to do 

With such feelings  

I am new to the world 

     Of great 

Music 

dancing lessons

dancing lessons 
     at my age...
give me a break 
     i resist 
     i give myself all the reasons
     i don't want 
          to go 

some young 
     whipper-snapper 
thinks i'm going to remember 
     all of this??

but actually 
it's fun... 
     i surprise myself 
     with trying - 
this is something 
     i've never done 

co-operated...

been positive 

tolerated 
     type A
     types 
Telling me 
What To Do !!!

maybe 
life would've been 
easier 
if 

maybe if 
i hadn't fought 
-tooth and nail-
against 

maybe i could have just 
gone with the flow 
maybe 
once !

but then 

you 

never met 
my mother 

The Line

The line comes closer. 

God bless the line 

It is very fine 

A fine line 

It is the line between 

     Reality and dream

It is our sacred space 

If we drink too much 

     We have crossed the line 

If we believe 

     Too sincerely 

We have frozen the line 

     In time 

If we talk too much

     We can't listen 

At all 

If we are too silent

No one knows 

Who we are 

Maybe just 

As well . . .

Find the line 

In each instance 

There is an invisable

Boundary -

An invisable 

Direction -

Which turns 

At the border

There are border guards 

Beware. 

Community Garden

So now there's a community garden. . .

- And I can't get it done around here -

But it's up on a hill -

And so pretty 

And friends will 

Be there 

Oh my god! 

Community - that -

     Means people -

     "Other" people 

And I the hermit 

(Traditionally) 

Will have to 

     Deal with 

People -

    " Other "

People -

I've never been 

     Good at this 

Not raised by people 

Who were any good at 

     It -

Isolation meant 

     Survival -

Distrust, hiding, and 

     Fear 

So now maybe 

I find another way -

I walk out my door -

- Fortify myself with 

     Starbucks -

And a cookie -

Oatmeal ( can't be all that bad 

     For ya ) 

I watch my paranoia

I wash it in the breeze 

On that hill 

Maybe I learn to trust 

     Someone 

Maybe I learn to 

     Let it go 

Maybe Mother Mary will 

     Come to Me

( Beatle's song, Let It Be ) 

I used to sing that in "church"

But she wouldn't let it be -

At all . . . 

Had to control everything 

Including my song -

So I left 

And now something 

Else 

They say. . .

The next thing comes 

Around 

For us to learn from 

And when we've learned 

It leaves 

Until we're done -

And then -

We 

Get washed 

In the eternal breeze  . . .

Plans

"Man makes plans and 

The Gods laugh" 

So -

I must be a major 

Source of amusement 

     For them. 

Hopefully I'll get some credit 

For this . . . 

I had planned to be much more rich,

     Healthy, and beautiful 

Than this 

Or 

Dead by now 

Depending on what sort 

Of day it is 

Wondering "what the heck" 

Is wrong with this 

Picture 

Knowing there are people 

In war torn countries 

And I am happy I'm not -

But

Still there is this yearning 

This unsettled way of wanting 

Something more 

Something 

Spiritual . . .

Eventhough I know how to 

Go there 

It takes doing 

"There in lies the rub"

Flying Lessons

💖 I've done it again
Danced till my feet are sore
Reluctant going into it . . :
Then I can't stop
Don't want to
And won't
And I'm flying
And I'm dying when a partner
Won't or can't yet -
Let go to the music

Just stick to it
Your feet will learn
And then you have entrance to
The clouds
The winged feet of Apollo
(Wasn't he the one?)

Just come again to the dance
Keep smiling
Keep trying
And soon you will be
There
And never again
Be alone
Or bored

If only more people knew
It doesn't take rocket science
To know
How to dance with a
     Rocket scientist

It does take courage
To begin
And more courage
To continue
And more courage for guys
To lead-
But it's worth it

So few know
This secret
This magic carpet
Ride
Just move
Just go
Get your shoes
And learn
To fly

Titanic

A moment of joy

Snatched from the jaws 

     Of fate 

Would the Gods 

     Begrudge us 

     This?  

My favorite Tanguero 

      Is older 

Closer 

      To the end 

It is only more 

       Poignant - more 

Of the oneness 

      Of fate

More of the last dance 

      On the Titanic 

The cold water is rising 

      Around our feet 

And we cling together 

      And dance the dance 

      Of lovers 

( Which we never have been 

And never will be )

The fates, even 

      The Gods 

Do not understand this -

     " Don't they know they 

      Have been condemned 

      To death ?"

-To die 

In each other's 

Arms . . .

To be human 

So fragile 

So 

Temporary -

So alone 

Help me here -

To believe 

To understand

That there is some 

Way 

To understand

To cling 

To love 

To life -

This dance 

Brings in

The deepest parts 

      Of life -

Of love 

Of being here 

Of being Still -

Leave me alone 

With him 

For this dance 

At least 

He must hold me 

And I him -

We understand 

      Each other -

Now

If only 

This moment 

Could last 

Forever 

      -the world 

And all it's 

Problems 

      -held at bay 

There is a heart connection 

In this dance 

Like in 

No other 

Back In The Box . . .

Where is the balance point ? 

Where is the emphasis ? 

All the puzzle pieces 

Will go 

Back in the box -

All our angst 

All our anger 

All our yearning 

All our manipulating 

All our climbing of mountains 

And fear 

And worry 

Will go 

Back In the box 

One day 

We will not be able to say

One damn thing About it 

Because 

We'll 

Be done 

So it seems 

     If there 

Were something to 

     Concentrate on 

Which would not fade 

Which would not go 

     Away 

Might that not be 

A better way 

To spend our time 

I'm just wondering 

     Here 

Here's to Humidity !

Here's to humidity 

May it ever reign -

Will it ever rain

Again? 

Sweat, sweat, sweat, 

Happy Fourth of July !

I never remember such 

Humidity

It's global hotness -

Must be -

Combine this with 

Menopause -

Hot flashes -

And u have 

One long hot flash

For all of 

     Humanity! 

Sweat, sweat, sweat ! 

How can anyone 

Find the energy 

To do 

Anything

Today ?

No more war 

We r 2 hot! 

And dripping wet 

With sweat

No more Wall Street

Thievery 

Oh -

They have air conditioning 

That must be 

It !

Unnatural conditions 

Not putting the breaks on

Over arching 

Behavior patterns -

If they had to figure out 

How to rob us all

In these conditions 

They would just 

Stop 

Call a halt and 

Call for 

Mint Julips

Lots and lots 

Of 

Mint Julips 

Priorities 

Would change 

Quickly 

If the boardrooms 

Became 

Humid 

Unsupported Browser

An unsupported

Browser -

Not being up on computer 

Jargon -

Is that a library patron 

Without a foundation 

Garment ?

Is it a shopper without 

An independent 

Income? 

Is it me 

Without 

U ? 

Who will hold me 

Tonight at 

The Tango Milonga? 

Alas, 

I will be unsupported 

By 

You 

No strong and tall shoulders 

Upon which to 

Lean 

No chest to lay my head 

Against 

Others will have 

To do 

But 

They 

Will not be 

You 

What about our 

Emerging 

Moves ?

Those shoulder led turns 

And clever 

     Walk throughs

And the moves 

We steal 

     From other dances 

     And don't say . . .

    Just,

Look the other 

     Way 

The Tango Police 

Haven't been by here -

Lately 

Interest

Aliens among us

I do enjoy the internet-

Mindset . . .

What do we believe 

And who told us to - ?

Going to school 

After World War II 

-One only believed 

What "they" wanted us 

To

One knew that danger lurked 

Behind any 

Independent 

Thinking. 

We were judged and graded 

Upon our ability to 

Conform -

In body and mind 

Such conformity 

Was backed up

With Capital Punishment 

With capitals !

They could beat you at 

School 

And beat you at 

Home 

Just for 

Good measure -

Fifties ladies might brag about 

Breaking the wooden spoon 

Or the pancake turner

On their male child's 

Backside 

They might brag 

At church -

To each other 

It was the accepted thing 

The constant 

Threat 

Of death

Add to that 

The birth of 

Television - to add to 

Newspapers and 

Radio 

We have generations now 

Of those told 

What to do 

- go shopping!

Live between here 

And 

The mall 

Go in debt

Pay interest

To 

"Them"

The VERIZON Pause

Data 

I have data 

I can write 

Verizon says so 

After the 25th 

Of the month 

U can again 

Communicate 

With friends -

Before that 

The cell phone becomes 

Quite useless -

Could use it as 

- a small square 

Coaster 

- a door stop for 

A mini door 

- not much else 

Did Shakespeare have such 

Problems ?

(Not comparing myself,

No way) 

But still- 

Hamlet would have 

Been on hold -

Romeo and Juliet 

Could have paused - 

Worked out their problems 

With the parents 

- married 

And been together long enough 

To 

- get on each other's 

Nerves 

Little Romeos running around screaming 

Pulling baby Juliet's hair 

Older Juliet trying to 

Get the laundry done 

- over the stove -

Becoming frayed and older 

Reaching menopause -

See what delights 

The "verizon pause" in 

      Writing 

Could 

Entail

Out out damned spot 

Becomes 

Oh heck 

 - Got to go back to counseling 

Again ! 

King Lear would get shortened 

- as a play - 

Which would probably not 

Be a bad thing 

But now 

(Forsooth) 

I must be gone 

For I have awaiting 

The dancing lesson 

Whether I would 

Or no . . .

Twins

U don't look at your cell phone 

     In the afternoon

I don't look at mine 

     In the morning 

U don't schedule things 

      Mid week

I don't schedule things 

      Weekends 

This may be 

      The perfect 

Relationship . . .

U will tell the establishment 

What is wrong 

With it -

Straight up 

In their faces -

I -

Never say a 

Word 

Other than that 

We have so much 

In common 

Other than that 

We r just like twins 

(Or not) . . .

People can be 

So 

Hard to figure 

Out 

I envy the hermits 

In the Himalayas 

Sometimes 

But even they

Have to have someone 

Bring them food 

-All the time-

And what if they 

Don't like 

The menu ? 

Who could they complain to ?

They r supposed to b

Desireless

By then. 

Wanting nothing 

Being nobody 

Nothing but 

Zen. 

Practical

Thinkin' I had to 

Go someplace 

To get 

Something 

Somewhere else 

Now I begin 

To see 

That the place 

To go 

Is here -

To sit down 

Here -

And go 

Within -

This the fascinating , wonderful

Place -

Natives in costumes 

Not 

(Except for those of us

Who live here)

Cut off jeans, Hawaiian shirts 

And 

Flip flops 

Fascinating native 

Ambiance 

See how they live 

Some homeless 

Some 

Not 

Some surfing 

Some walking 

Verizon says 

I have used 75% of my 

Data plan 

Poetry loses to 

Practicality. . .

Prince Harry asks, How Do You Do?

Interesting modern life this. . .

Who may read these words?

     If on Facebook 

It is assumed 

Anyone reads thousands of

     Answers 

To an innocent 

     Query 

Buried somewhere there 

Is this. . .

The musings -

The Ramblings of 

A commoner 

In another country 

And one 

That 

Ran away 

At that!

Now mother always said 

We were related to 

Fancy-pants people 

And she collected china 

And read a lot 

- That must count 

For something 

But I can't imagine 

The pressures of 

Any type of royalty 

I really cannot handle 

What I've got to deal with 

Right now 

And I hate people telling me 

What to do 

No 

It would never do 

I maybe shouldn't have posted 

This answer 

To that 

Innocent 

Query 

Unity. . .

Feeling better 

Maybe I'll live 

For a little while 

     At least 

Able to attack a shrub with 

     Pruning shears 

But then -

I must rest  

Looking forward to a 

     Tango or two 

When I 

     Meet up 

     With you 

If I can just 

Tango and 

Trim 

I should be alright 

But already 

The bills are 

Coming in . . .

Getting sick in this 

     Country 

Is not advised -

It is a crazy place 

Where some seem to get 

Everything 

For free 

And others are robbed 

The middle class 

Is being beat-

With sticks 

Why 

Don't they want us 

To survive ?

Conspiracy theories 

Abound 

Just look around 

And try to explain 

Where our freedom 

Has gone 

???

Where the bright ideas 

That built this country 

Have gone ???

Multinational unity -

one world government -

Global industry 

Doing what it pleases

And 

Making slaves 

     Of us. 

??

Just don't rush -

I'm old enough to 

     Figure 

"I'll be dead by 

Then"

Angst

Life and death and 

     Doctors 

My therapist says 

I have a phobia 

Why does not having been to a 

Dr 

For fifteen years 

Constitute a phobia? 

Maybe it denotes 

     Common sense. 

They are 

The leading cause of 

     Death 

( I read somewhere)

So now I must 

     Go

All their tests and 

     Triangulations 

Will cost a pretty penny 

     I know 

If I live, 

I will be eating little 

     And spending less 

Not quite a bag lady 

     Yet 

( God bless them) 

They gave me pills 

For my nerves

For my fear -

Is there a pill for 

Other things ?

A pill for 

     The angst of life 

I have angst -

Always have had 

A longing for the time 

     Before -

A strong remembering 

     Of a better time -

Wondering where Krishna is 

     And Christ 

Why have we been left here 

To face 

The pins and needles 

Of life -

Alone? 

Why do we believe 

So strongly 

That we live and die 

In these flimsy bodies 

Why don't we know 

We are light

And therefore cannot be 

Cut 

Or folded or torn 

I know 

They are out to get me -

They are sharpening knives 

And swords 

As we speak 

So-

Where did I put 

Those pills they 

Gave me. 

Rotten Machine

Having just poured my heart out

On this stupid thing 

- another rotten machine! - 

I push the wrong button and 

All my heart-felt musings disappear 

Like dust 

It was a long tome

About how I'm feeling 

Now 

And what I've been going 

Through 

Instead of pushing save 

I mistakenly pushed 

Go away 

Go away forever 

Don't bother us 

No one will ever 

Know 

Wouldn't it be wonderful 

If that's all it took -

Just write it 

Just relight it 

And then push 

Disappear 

We could write about our 

Troubles

And make them 

Go away 

We could write about 

Our bills and our boyfriends 

And they would begin 

To behave 

Oh my 

Is there an app for that? 

The app for disposing of 

Problems and of pain. 

Is it free? 

It seems a little too

"Twilight Zone" to me -

Can you imagine what 

Rod Serling would have done 

With apps! 

And cell phones -

World wide webs -

And drones ?

Not to mention 

     Global warming 

Siri and 

Googles

And apples 

It begins to spin 

Out of control

Faster and 

Faster 

Let's see if I can save this 

Without blasting it 

Into a black hole!!!

Doctors

Six months to live 

- what if they tell me that - ?

Am I just being paranoid 

Or preparing . . . 

I have always wondered what's 

On the other side 

Is it a river Styx 

A mount Olympus 

Some pearly gates 

Or a burning place 

Does the soul 

Hang together 

Or dissipate 

     Into space 

An eternal sleep ?

An eternal nightmare ?

The bliss and the white light 

Of God ?

The latter would, of course, 

Be preferable 

If we have any choice 

Worth Watching

Aliens among us -

The Internet is 

     A wonderful thing 

Crop circles 

And messages 

- conspiracies 

I had no idea 

What 

Would come up 

Once the cable was 

Cut -

I do miss tv

And I'm sure it misses me 

I could channel surf 

     So well 

I had my standard pattern 

And many variations 

Default channels 

     To check 

And always up on 

     National news 

The numbers on the remote 

Were worn off

They call it a plug in drug 

And I said,

"So, that's a good thing, right?" 

But then the plumbing and 

The doctor's bills 

And a certain sense 

Of adventure - hit -

Without warning . . . 

Can I do this ? 

Can I live without ? 

There is no Star Trek 

There is no Dr Who 

What do I do 

If they come back on 

     Again? 

There are books and books 

Cluttering up 

Around here 

I could look in a book . . . 

I could contemplate 

The inner realms . . .

I could go visit a friend 

Who has 

Tv . . .

Are there any addiction programs 

For this -

Twelve steps 

Group therapy ?

There are times when 

One just 

Wants to forget

To be talked to and shown pictures 

Even if 

It's only old movies and 

     Car chases 

Why can't "they" manage 

     To be 

      "Creative" 

One can think of so many 

     Wonderful things 

That would be 

"Worth Watching"

Testing, Testing

Waiting. Waiting. 

Why does it take so much 

     Waiting. 

And now there's a child 

     In a stroller -

Why is there always 

     A child in a stroller 

     And why 

Do they always 

Sit by me ?

As I wait to 

Determine 

If I live or die 

And how much trouble 

     It will be. 

Tests 

In the old days 

Did not involve 

Blood 

Pencil and paper

In those days -

But I would still

Worry mightily 

At least 

There is no studying 

For this -

No late nights 

Of panic 

But yes. 

Late nights of fear 

Of a different variety

Life and death 

Draw

Closer together 

It is destined 

To be so 

It is written 

It is the way it is

One cannot fight 

     Progress!

Old Hat

It was time for the gardening hat 

To die 

It was thrown 

     With regret 

On the campfire 

In the back garden

Last 

Evening 

It had seen many days 

Of enjoyment and sunshine 

And some rain

It had shared the joys of the garden

And 

The pains 

There was more sun getting through

Than shade being provided

The straws in the hat 

Had given their all 

And so like they do 

By the Ganges 

In India -

It went up in flames -

It's form remaining for 

     Quite some time -

Burning 

An old friend 

A companion 

Gone -

It's essence to be scattered 

In the garden it helped 

Water

The Dance

So tired of 

     Relationship

So ready to 

     Leave 

Just want 

     To be 

Done 

I can't become 

The one you want 

I am not her 

Please allow me 

To 

Escape 

To be 

     Free

But now -

What is this ?

Is he learning 

     To turn 

To lead 

     To walk 

     To tango ?

The gods laugh 

     That's what they do 

For now there is 

     No way 

Those tall shoulders 

     Can be left 

To chance 

     Now there is 

No way 

I cannot 

Dance - !

after all

can't force it 
this muse 
where has she gone 
today ?

i guess there's nothing 
she 
wants 
to say - 

these fragile bodies 
we think we're so special . . .
and we are 
I know we are !

just think about it 
won't you?
all this time and space 
exists - 
all these plants and trees 
to make oxygen 
for me ! 

yes, we mess it up 
but 
here we 
     still are 

gravity holds us down -
which is created by 
the earth spinning round
or the fact that it's so big 
to begin with -
either way, 
     it's awesome   

the sun comes up 
the sun goes down 
without that 
where would we be?

who thought this up 
It wasn't me 
It was all built up
for us 

to experience 
these experiences 
of being human 
here and now

someone 
obviously, 
wants us to 

probably would like 
some thanks 
too 

and then there's our 
connection to 

that's the most important 
thing 
it gives us a feeling of being 
and belonging 
and life 
and love
and light 

i guess the muse 
had something she 
wanted to say 

after all   

Rumi

I look around 

And I see no 

Zen flowers 

Anywhere  :-(

This being has not been 

Contacting 

The infinate 

Lately 

This body 

Has been 

Sic

With fever 

For days -

Inspiration 

Has been 

Lacking 

I 

Don't want to 

Be 

This way -

Without the flowers -

The product 

Of contemplation -

The daisys of 

Devotion 

The roses of 

Heart felt 

Connection

The spice 

Of life 

Has been lacking 

What did Rumi do 

When he felt like 

***** ?

Waiting. . .

Waiting -

Waiting for lunch 

     Late lunch 

     U said u'd be here at 2:00

It's two 

And I'm hungry

What to do 

??

How late will u b ? 

Wait 10 min 

Or 15 

What's the rule ?

11 minutes 

Will have to do. 

I'm too hungry to

Wonder anymore

About the etiquette 

Of the situation . . .

And this is why 

A woman must have 

Her own money 

Can't depend 

On some people . . . 

You and your excuses 

I'm sure you'll have one 

I won't ask 

Being with u 

(And eating) 

Will be enough

To calm

The raging beastie

Inside the mind 

- looking for answers 

To Unfathomable 

Subjects 

Embrace

- - -

Global warming . . .

- - -

When I came here 

Thirty odd years ago 

We had summers of 

Fog 

June gloom, 

May grey 

We never saw 

The sun 

It was a local joke 

Want sun? 

Drive to Ojai 

Twenty degrees difference 

Twenty miles away 

Bright sunshine. 

Now 

Something's changed 

It's hot, hot, hot 

And it's only 

May 

We used to go to the beach 

On Christmas Day 

Just because we could 

It was our little ritual 

With family

So far flung 

Warmer then on Christmas 

Than in May 

Now it's just hot 

My garden doesn't know 

What to do 

Spring flowers 

Used to drippy fog 

Are wilting early 

I suppose we'll 

Adjust -

The outdoor shower 

Will be used to cool -

Indoors we'll adjust 

Old electrics barely support 

The little window box cooler

But it helps if 

One gets near enough 

Hot flashes have helped 

This one learn to tolerate 

Extremely warm 

Conditions -

Learn to sweat !

Even if genteel women aren't 

Supposed to 

No one told the 

Maker of 

Such a requirement 

But if it gets any hotter 

What then -

If food can't grow? 

Tonight I go 

To dance some tango 

It will be warm 

The doors will be open 

To the street 

Maybe much like 

Buenos Aires 

People walking by 

Look in with curiosity 

What is this foreign 

Scene ?

Americans dancing 

Together 

Just as if 

They knew 

How -

Americans enjoying

Embracing one another 

And moving with grace -

And you will arrive late 

And I anticipate 

Your particular embrace. 

Bar be que

Old friends 

And new ones 

Bar be que ones 

Friend s 

What a special thing 

It is 

To get together 

Around an outdoor 

Fire

And sip wine and 

Talk of things 

-Get to know 

Some people 

From a different 

World 

What do they do 

And how do they

do it?

What do they know 

And 

How do they know it ? 

I get to see 

My life, my time,

My choices 

From some 

Other perspective 

I have chosen 

And life has chosen 

For me 

And I do 

The best 

I can 

Some have energy 

Some don't 

Some have courage and 

The ability 

To cope 

It's good to see -

To get to know 

Others 

And what their minds 

Are made of 

And where their hearts 

Have gotten 

To

No Small Thing !

Butterflies circling -

Playing in a spring garden 

Breeze cooling -

The hot flashes. 

The morning tea 

Brings on 

Freeway sounding distant 

Today -

I slept last night !

And dreamed of 

Many things. 

Workmen taking my 

House apart -

Termites 

Eating it -

There was a dog 

On my lap 

At a race track 

Don't know what to think 

About that 

The man-friend was there -

But distant 

I have a friend who believes in 

Lucid dreaming 

I think I've done enough -

For one day -

And would rather not -

Dream at all 

Some say the butterfly dreams 

That It is a human sometimes 

Or that this world 

Is a dream 

And we will awake 

Some day -

The Buddha was awake 

And then had 

So much to say 

About it -

I'm tired of talking 

I have existential fatigue -

Along with being 

Old -

But I can give thanks 

For this shade 

And this way 

Of being today 

Nothing hurts 

I have food 

And a place to stay -

The hummingbird comes 

Around 

Curious -

And several types of 

Butterfly's 

Play 

If I were a painter 

I would paint 

- today- 

As such -

I am thankful 

I am not -

What a lot of bother 

With brushes and tubes 

Of paint 

I am only compelled to 

Try to describe -

In words 

The glory of 

Spring 

No small thing!

Sleep

Sleep -

It is a mystery 

To me 

This afternoon - late 

I lay down for a moment 

And hours passed 

- no one could have separated me 

From that 

What comfort - 

     What bliss 

What an opiate!

But now I wait 

     Late at night

For the idea to dawn again 

For the sleepiness 

     To descend 

Knowing that it's so 

     Necessary 

To the quality of 

My life tomorrow 

Fiddling with Facebook 

Looking up old "x's"

Feeling wonderful 

That I can -

That there is no parent 

No overseer -

To say 

Anything -

Ah 

What luxury 

It may not seem like much 

But from an  over controlled 

Childhood 

I still run -

I am rebelling here 

Staying up till 

One  

Hiding from 

Responsibility 

It will all be there tomorrow 

The lists 

Are still long 

I check off one or two things 

In a dulsitory fashion -

Until the next emergency arises 

And takes presidence 

But sleep 

(Which is what this was

Supposed to be about) 

Is no where to be found 

No where around 

As we get older 

It gets more complex 

Some nights - awake 

All night 

For no apparent reason

Just 

The sheer cussedness 

     Of life 

The more we fight and try 

To sleep 

The further away 

It drifts 

Anger doesn't help 

Murdering helpless pillows 

Beating on them 

Cursing - 

At three or four in the morning 

Is probably 

Counter productive -

Not in the 

"Sleep therapy"

Curriculum 

Was that a yawn? 

The beginnings of a possibility 

Of a return 

To the blessed state 

Of non-existence ? 

One can but try . . .

"X"

Dodged a few bullets 

Lately -

Thanking the gods 

For that -

Waiting for the next ones -

Knowing they'll come. 

Also knowing that - that's 

Life 

Obviously ordained 

To be that way 

And therefore 

Somehow sacred

No matter how much "i"

Do not approve. 

Wondering 

This evening about 

The incredible conduct of 

"Friends" 

Very "x"

How could they imagine that 

Cruelty and jealousy are

Appropriate -

Here 

Don't they know 

It all comes back 

On us -

Our hearts are closed 

To the extent 

We close them 

To others 

I suppose they mean 

To hurt us 

Because they 

Have been hurt 

Before 

Forgive and forget 

Forgive and forget 

Should have all been done 

By now 

Them

Jury duty ---

Save me please !

Boredom has descended 

With palpable palpability

Someone should study this 

Some scientific research is needed 

When people refuse to do this 

Our civilization is through 

It will have crumbled into 

Dust -

This one guy here 

Can sleep 

Sitting up

Why is it guys 

Can do that ?

And I can't. 

My friend will descend

Into dreams 

In the middle of something important 

I'm saying

And awake apologetically 

When I'm done -

As I was saying,

Our civilization 

Will be done -

When we don't allow "them"

To treat us 

This way -

To coral us 

To imprison us 

- For just the day 

So that we may decide 

Which others of us 

Must be imprisioned -

Where they can get 

Free food and lodging 

Paid for by us 

There is a logic here 

Somewhere 

I sure of it 

I'm almost 

Certain that this 

Makes sense to someone 

Somewhere 

In the great halls 

Of 

"Them"

Friends

He's been to the jungle 

He's taken the drugs 

Led by shamans

He's seen the inside of his head 

     Expanding 

     Outward 

Now, one would hope, 

Some knowledge of 

     The heart 

Might be 

Forthcoming 

That the sky might 

     Open up 

Inside 

That he might see the heart 

Expand 

-The spiritual connection 

With -

There is no explanation for 

What he's done 

What he's seen 

But the size of the bugs 

Was obscene . . .

Am I jealous that some people 

Have the health 

To travel ?

I suppose . . .

But from what I've been told 

The greatest journey 

Is within -

The greatest test of courage 

Is to meet ourselves 

In silence 

And let God come in 

And be our friend