hedges

hedges are good
for keeping out the prying eyes

hedges are bad
because they grow
taking over sidewalk
and walkways

hedges are fun
when the day is warm
      (but not too)
and I can attack
with an arsenal of weapons
clippers and rakes and
     artistic renderings
should I clip
     this one here?
or
     that one-
     there?

what fool ever planted these
I contemplate
as I tire-
as I slow down-
as I leave a giant pile of branches
     behind me

they will be seen to later-
it will take some time
  -drag them to the back
  -arrange them in the can
  -which is no longer a can
but a giant plastic thing

and now,  as the sun goes down,
I am tired, but with a sense of
accomplishment.
I am still able
I am still strong
The hedges I planted
   as little things
and nurtured and encouraged
Are now threatening to overtake me
as I grow older

We are now
at a point of balance
-my strength
and
-their spring-time vigor

but I know the clock keeps ticking
-going round and round
sun rising and setting

For God's sake
     I'm going to be 60!
What happens then
What happens when
The puny 80 year old lady
is found
face down
impaled upon her
pruning shears
call NCIS!
even though I am not a Marine
maybe they can investigate
this crime-
this crime - OF TIME !

unimaginable (tsunami)

unimaginable dark water 

covering zen friends

i am hurt by this 

this should not be 

i cannot believe 

   -in karma

   -or anything 

I want them to be 

   alright 

I want them to be 

   happy  again 

I don't want the dark water 

to carry 

anyone away

i know our time will come 

south california is only waiting

 

there is always something - somewhere - 

   happening

but still 

it hurts so much

sometimes

sometimes
it seems like we get lost
at least
I do
I forget what's important
and am too upset
over little things
upset
driven crazy
not knowing what to do

why

did this life
not come with an
instruction booklet
something that would
say
which button to push
and when
to push it
which
setting to set
and how to set it

but
then
it would probably have been
a bad translation
like those pieces of furniture
I have endeavored to put together
tab A going here
and B is lost somewhere
under the couch
and the cat is sitting on the directions
and the dog ran away with the spoon
it's been that kind of a day
it's been that kind of a life
and I am not apologizing
anymore-
past caring-
doing my best
going to be 60
yea gads!

let's go watch the news
that'll help

a book

yesterday
i sat
in the cyber cafe
reading a book
an old book
at that

I felt
old
i am old
but more than that
everyone around me was
working on expensive machines
this book cost $.50 at a garage sale
my latte cost more than my book
not only old
but cheap

and proud of it 

today

Today has been
just
one of those
days...
lack of inspiration
flat-
dead-

but, I remind myself that,
things "could be worse"
could be
a lot worse

I remember
to remind myself
to count my blessings
to give thanks
for the basics
the food, the clothing, the shelter
the fact that i live in a country which
tries to give women their rights and privileges
-which does not dictate what we wear-

we can wear jeans - for instance -
    fit for all occasions
    old jeans for gardening
    newer ones for daily wear
    cut-offs, calf length for beach walking

I should be so lucky to live in this country
--near the beach
I am ashamed to complain
about less than perfect weather
in January

zen flowers

just trying this new thing
blogging
writing
for other people to maybe see

in the dead of winter
a few flowers are still trying ...
braving the biting winds
and bitter cold

relatively speaking

this is,
after all,
south california