Tuesday, July 19, 2011

freedom

it is so important
    this
the ability to be
who I am
where I am
-in my own time
-my own place

freedom

it is a treasure
a pearl of great price

some friends don't understand
they want you to be tied up
     like they are

how dare you be free
     (maybe it scares them)

it is also a mental thing
     maybe that's the hardest part

freedom from my own programming
which was done by
Machiavellian people
They tried to turn me into some sort of
Machine
which they could control
ok
I'm not so opposed to this
but now I have a little time
to be myself
to find myself
whatever they have left me
after their try at TOTAL control

slipping through the cracks in their reality
not believing absolutely everything
looking at believing
as a questionable activity
based on centuries of civilization

how can we even begin
to think that we are free

but isn't that what this place
America
is all about
anyway ?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Prince and Princess

Prince and Princess
and Santa Barbara Swami

The day after
The Prince and Princess
    were here

I pass by
the polo grounds
on my way to the
Santa Barbara Swami's
birthday party
-90 years old today-

Signs are still up
    at the Polo Place
No Parking here
No Parking there
No Parking anywhere
    -for the unrich
    -the uninitiated
    -the hoi polloi
         (from Greek; the many--
         the common people, the masses)
               that's me

I drive slowly
past the open gate
carefully avoiding
Sunday bicyclists
-ten speeds and tight pants-
ok

driving slowly
I look through the open gate
Pavilions are still up
    with flowing white curtains
        tied up
Maybe a little royalty
    still
    lingers in the air
If I had known
I could have been there
The cheap seats
    weren't that much
I could have
    dug a dress
    out of the back of the closet
    and worn a thrift store hat
I can
    behave myself
    when I must
I do like tea
    and mother's side
    was British
         -after all

These two
young ones
whose lives
are so subject to scrutiny
(I'm not good with scrutiny)
I much prefer
to meditate
in quiet, cool places
To go on Pilgrimages
-in California-
-to stay in places
with good food
and air conditioning
I find it helps
the contemplation
Which, it turns out,
is difficult enough.
The ego must be dealt with
It is a poker game
She doesn't want
to give it up
(doesn't know when to fold 'em)
-does not want
to be
   silent
        still
-but everyone else is. . .
subject of the lecture today,
Spiritual Discipline
-uh-oh-
On one level
I am in so-o-o-o much
    trouble

People give their lives to things
Royalty or Spirituality
or maybe both

I question myself;
    What have I
    given my life to. . .
Sometimes it seems we have no choice
--taxes, work, and bad relationships--
They say it's all for learning
All a great school
-I wasn't the greatest fan
    of school-
Passing periods and lunch
    were fun
    sort of
-but I never understood
-why so early
-every-day??
    I could have done
    with Cliff Notes-
    I get the concept
    Park the Kids
    Get them ready
    To be workers
     "twenty years of schooling
     and they put you on the day shift"
     to quote the old Bob Dylan record...

But I digress
we all dedicate our lives
to the path of our own lives
-even the worst addict
only wants
happiness,
bliss, and
sweet release

we are all
wanderers in search of
sweetness...

    and it's there
    so close inside
    just beyond the barrier
    of mind
    of opinion
    of me

It is said;
"the perfect way
is not difficult
for those who
hold no preferences"
those were the jokesters
of old
the ones who
walked on air

even though
the air is
everywhere

it is only for us
to remember
its
presence
here
    

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

balance

It's a question of balance 
this meditation, contemplation thing
how far into the abyss do you dare to go 
how much of yourself 
can you let go

how much of this bliss 
are you willing to become 
and then the fussing baby 
in the mission church 
and then the tourist with the camera
and the children 
our heart agrees to let them all in 
the example
that we have 
of the candles 
and the christ

and i sit 
and the people come and go 
the Mary Statue 
is a great inspiration to me 
the balance on the head of a pin 
the razor's edge 
as thoughts come in 
and come and go 
i don't own them 
they don't own me 
the peace, the space 
is more important 
to me now 
what is the answer 
who asks the question 
the balance 
of a surfer on a wave 
the expansion 
the peaceful, blissful communion 
i want to stay forever 
the body can only sit so long 
thank you to the indians who built this place 
this place of peace 
on a busy street 
and the belief of the people 
that keeps the doors open 
for a stranger to 
come in 
to sit 
to sit in peace  

Friday, June 10, 2011

Waiting

Waiting. In a doctors office
is a different kind of waiting
will i be ok?
Will this be serious
will it either kill me
or bankrupt me
is it. Cancer
will there be an operation
Why are bodies so delicate
Why are they not like rocks. ?
Strong and granite-like
aging slowly
watching the mountains move around them
left by glaciers
wearing lichen

it's times like this that the phrase
God's will comes to mind

and where is that darn doctor
at least i've got clothes on
this time

Monday, May 30, 2011

Road Trip

Road Trip
this trip
     Giant Sequoias
     and beyond
I'm getting too old
     for this
Myself tells Myself

Sitting in a car
     for a long time
Hiking about
     hurts worse
     than it used to

But the sights
     are more
     delicious now
     somehow

John Muir
     and I
Commune
     with trees
     and sky
     and clouds

The clouds drift through
     the giants-
as tour buses
     come and go

Silence - magic -
     Jurassic-
        dinosaur-
           giant
              trees

and the crowds
     of foreigners
        speaking in tongues

and then a busload
     of modern children
     Who wouldn't
        recognize
           reverence
if it got up in "they" face
and flashed a gang sign

and I with my
peanut butter sandwich
find a stream
to sit by

remembering
why
     I came

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The End of the World Today

The world is going to end 
@ 6:00 o'clock today 

Maybe i should run around 
and get things done 
Frantically-
Maybe I should pray
-Unceasingly 

But 
Surprisingly,
my reaction is more like, 
"Well that'll be a relief."

finally one can stop trying-
-stop trying to hold one's end up 
-hold one's head up 
-have good posture 
and eat your vegetables 

And 
it's going to end in fire 
-in earthquake and complete 
destruction! 

this 
is a huge relief for me- 
Because 
it won't matter 
if the kitchen floor 
is clean... 

The kitchen floor 
will be no more- 
its asbestos tiles 
consumed 
in the fires 
from which 
they came 

I'm going to relish the day-
my few remaining hours 
5 to be precise. 
I will party like there's no tomorrow 
or maybe take a nap 
definitely there's an excuse 
in there somewhere 
to have an ice cream 
after all 
It's the END OF THE WORLD !!!
today 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

old man band

Tonight
as day turns into darkness

i try to type with my thumbss
on my phone
beam me up scotty
what has the world come to

the old man band is playing loud down the way
screaming like there's no tomorrow
and they were young once
and they'll prove it to you now

turn up those ampS boyz and scream a little louder
never imagining that you have neighbors
or that peaceful contemplation
is the zen way
for this
god made earplugs, grasshopper,
They never had this trouble in ancient China-
--but I'm sure they had others--
probably worse-- . . .