retreat

it's raining today
at the retreat
it's so sweet
for a city kid
to hear rain
   coming down
   through tall trees
   really tall pines

earlier...
herds of wild turkeys
walking the meadow
like small grazing dinosaurs
in the Jurassic

the people here
have left the world
for good

still they go into town
   sometimes
some of the old timers think
   it really ruined the place
   when they got electricity
   and paved the roads

some folks think they're crazy
some think it's cult-like
I come up here
   not to think
and to leave the cult of
   TV and fast food and freeways
for awhile

God and Goddess bless them
for providing a place for peace
a place to look within
a place to access the eternal stream
of energy, light, and bliss
and joy
:-)

retreat

lots of planning
goes into
leaving

leaving
in order to
retreat

no one understands
why
i
do this

why not go someplace
     exciting
they say
why not
     take
     me ????

it's the trees
     you see
and the space
and the time-
     time
     not to speak
     not to think
or
     to speak and think
of God
     while walking
     among trees

it is difficult
to explain
even
to me

there's something about
being among
ones own kind
people who believe
that God is real
and can be seen
people who speak ones own language
people trying to see
trying to connect
trying to find
their own hearts
and their connection
with the larger heart of God

it's not so easy sometimes
it's not really like a vacation
     -with fine wine and windsurfing-
it's more like diving deep
     within
to find
     -what's in there- 

live and learn

you'd think
I'd know by now. . .
    What?

    lots of stuff
  
zen says I should
    know less and less
each day

the Tao of
    not much

trying to simplify
    in this country
is like trying to
    comb your hair
    in the wind

it should be easy
    but it's not

not only is there lots
    of stuff-
    and things

but lots of emotions
    and ideas and opinions
which need to be cleared
out
of the attic
of the mind

the mind
it is a tricky thing
it locks the door sometimes
the attic door of the mind

sort of like hoarders
only mental
-very mental

and emotions
don't even get me started
with that

where is my zen
the zen of the broom
the sweeping motion
of the truly enlightened
that is what is needed here...

72 virgins

We are all in this together

Someday

We all will 

die

Why fill this

time 

with hatred and war 

Why not fill it

with

Joy

Why not study 

this

in preparation for 

Living the rest of our days

here

upon the ground 

before we 

learn to fly 

Which we have been promised 

by so many 

great religions 

and the keys to the 

Great Gate

In The Sky 

and 

the 72 Virgins. . . 

It will be so 

MUCH FUN!

We can

make several

softball teams 

Maybe there will be horses 

and we can ride 

in a great group together 

and my favorite horse 

will be there 

-and all the dogs and cats 

(and cars)

I've ever had

Forget the ex-boyfriends

OK?

We're all Virgins 

-by the way-

never knowing heartbreak 

or 

intimidation 

Able to ride 

bareback at a gallop 

through green pastures 

with no 

stinky boys 

throwing rocks

or firecrackers 

No word of maturity 

no babies 

no swelling up 

and giving birth 

HEY

it all ends 

right here 

-a quarter horse 

and 72 girlfriends 

to giggle with

and laugh 

and twitter 

our time 

away

freedom

it is so important
    this
the ability to be
who I am
where I am
-in my own time
-my own place

freedom

it is a treasure
a pearl of great price

some friends don't understand
they want you to be tied up
     like they are

how dare you be free
     (maybe it scares them)

it is also a mental thing
     maybe that's the hardest part

freedom from my own programming
which was done by
Machiavellian people
They tried to turn me into some sort of
Machine
which they could control
ok
I'm not so opposed to this
but now I have a little time
to be myself
to find myself
whatever they have left me
after their try at TOTAL control

slipping through the cracks in their reality
not believing absolutely everything
looking at believing
as a questionable activity
based on centuries of civilization

how can we even begin
to think that we are free

but isn't that what this place
America
is all about
anyway ?

Prince and Princess

Prince and Princess
and Santa Barbara Swami

The day after
The Prince and Princess
    were here

I pass by
the polo grounds
on my way to the
Santa Barbara Swami's
birthday party
-90 years old today-

Signs are still up
    at the Polo Place
No Parking here
No Parking there
No Parking anywhere
    -for the unrich
    -the uninitiated
    -the hoi polloi
         (from Greek; the many--
         the common people, the masses)
               that's me

I drive slowly
past the open gate
carefully avoiding
Sunday bicyclists
-ten speeds and tight pants-
ok

driving slowly
I look through the open gate
Pavilions are still up
    with flowing white curtains
        tied up
Maybe a little royalty
    still
    lingers in the air
If I had known
I could have been there
The cheap seats
    weren't that much
I could have
    dug a dress
    out of the back of the closet
    and worn a thrift store hat
I can
    behave myself
    when I must
I do like tea
    and mother's side
    was British
         -after all

These two
young ones
whose lives
are so subject to scrutiny
(I'm not good with scrutiny)
I much prefer
to meditate
in quiet, cool places
To go on Pilgrimages
-in California-
-to stay in places
with good food
and air conditioning
I find it helps
the contemplation
Which, it turns out,
is difficult enough.
The ego must be dealt with
It is a poker game
She doesn't want
to give it up
(doesn't know when to fold 'em)
-does not want
to be
   silent
        still
-but everyone else is. . .
subject of the lecture today,
Spiritual Discipline
-uh-oh-
On one level
I am in so-o-o-o much
    trouble

People give their lives to things
Royalty or Spirituality
or maybe both

I question myself;
    What have I
    given my life to. . .
Sometimes it seems we have no choice
--taxes, work, and bad relationships--
They say it's all for learning
All a great school
-I wasn't the greatest fan
    of school-
Passing periods and lunch
    were fun
    sort of
-but I never understood
-why so early
-every-day??
    I could have done
    with Cliff Notes-
    I get the concept
    Park the Kids
    Get them ready
    To be workers
     "twenty years of schooling
     and they put you on the day shift"
     to quote the old Bob Dylan record...

But I digress
we all dedicate our lives
to the path of our own lives
-even the worst addict
only wants
happiness,
bliss, and
sweet release

we are all
wanderers in search of
sweetness...

    and it's there
    so close inside
    just beyond the barrier
    of mind
    of opinion
    of me

It is said;
"the perfect way
is not difficult
for those who
hold no preferences"
those were the jokesters
of old
the ones who
walked on air

even though
the air is
everywhere

it is only for us
to remember
its
presence
here
    

balance

It's a question of balance 

this meditation, contemplation thing

how far into the abyss do you dare to go 

how much of yourself 

can you let go

how much of this bliss 

are you willing to become 

and then the fussing baby 

in the mission church 

and then the tourist with the camera

and the children 

our heart agrees to let them all in 

the example

that we have 

of the candles 

and the christ

and i sit 

and the people come and go 

the Mary Statue 

is a great inspiration to me 

the balance on the head of a pin 

the razor's edge 

as thoughts come in 

and come and go 

i don't own them 

they don't own me 

the peace, the space 

is more important 

to me now 

what is the answer 

who asks the question 

the balance 

of a surfer on a wave 

the expansion 

the peaceful, blissful communion 

i want to stay forever 

the body can only sit so long 

thank you to the indians who built this place 

this place of peace 

on a busy street 

and the belief of the people 

that keeps the doors open 

for a stranger to 

come in 

to sit 

to sit in peace