happy friggin' birthday

and so
we've had
another birthday
What's to celebrate?
-The body's one year
     older
but it's hanging
     in there...

it's very zen to say
I'm not this body, not this mind

-and we cause all our
     karma
With our raggedy thinking
     and impure mind

I cannot say
but I can
     meditate
and watch it all go away

to be replaced
with bliss
and calm

that's my favorite
     thing-
I must admit
I can no more
     hide it-
my love for this

hidden from myself
-by-myself
for so many years
How long will I go on
pretending
-that I exist-

existential by all accounts
mystical
     out of all proportion
to this reality

I watch TV
and am amazed at what
     it thinks is so deadly
important

this culture
this modernity
this craziness
     -I hide
but not like I used to
     -in negativity

no

now it's more like
birthdays
They come
and go
and maybe we get a present
or a card
or two

but we have no choice
the body gets older
the world gets crazier
...it is, as it is...

I've been known to buy myself
-a present
-a consolation
     prize-

I've put up with it all
     for another year
I'm beginning to
     figure it out-
The great mystery-
The Whichness of What!

The Answer is...
     there is no Question.

and no one
     to ask it-
  










 

Sorry...

I feel sorry
     for us
     all

Stuck in a
     dying
     body

Stuck to a
     crazy
     mind

We have been
     abandoned
     here-

Left adrift-
     unless

We look
     within

-And that is
     hard-

The ego must
     let go
     a bit

And that
     it doesn't
     want to do

It has not been
     programmed
           to

Its job
     is to
          rule the
          World!

And build
     great bombs

To make the
     World safe
      for democracy!

Democracy
     is fine-

But the ego
     will not
     feel safe-

even then-

Maybe even
     less
          so-

For then it will
     have to
     figure out

How to vote
     and which

-insane party
     to go to 

stopping...

just about ready to stop
all this blogging
nonsense

what's the use-
it's made three
cents

"i get no
respect"

never did
never will

ready to eat
worms...

and then I look-
and then I see-
I've broken through
one-thousand hits
-one thousand people
reading
me

!!!
wow

I've never done
that much of
anything...

folks from all over
the world-
1000 of them

and so I am
re-energized
re-inspired

where will this lead?
How much trouble
     will i get in?
Dare i continue?
     can I stop?

like eating peanuts
-sharing thoughts-

kinda scary
maybe the CIA
has me already
     on file...

I'm harmless
     so I think
-but the pen is
     mightier than
     the sword-

poke
poke
I poke at you
with my sword...

awake
awake
value your life
be nice
to yourself
and
others...

we're all
in this together
at least
for now

where we go after that
who is certain

really, really, sure?
really, really, certain?

 

stalker...

one day
you
yell at me
the next
you dance so nice
I ask you to leave
to go away
this-
is just
a challenge
to you

you must have been
raised
to
really hate
women

but only the ones
you have been
close to

the last girlfriend
left town
to live with a male
relative
somewhere,
far away

yes,
I am afraid...

What to do
Who to turn to

If everything is a lesson
this is a big one-
     to
     stand up for
     myself...

If i turn up dead
We'll know
     who to blame-

small solace
small comfort

for
i know
     this is just
     the beginning...

but-
one of my new-favorite
     dance partners
used to be a Marine
---think about that!
 

Dear Mr. Charming,

Dear Mr Charming,
     You are late!

I have been
     waiting-
So very long...

I was told
     long ago
That you are
     coming-
Mr Walt Disney
     Said So
And
     He
          Wouldn't lie

He had
     everything
So together-
     So wonderfully
          done

Small scale buildings
     neatly trimmed trees
A robotic
     Mr Lincoln
And Indian canoes

-but always
     there is
a poison
     apple-
A rogue hippo
     on the Jungle Ride

-long lines
     in the
     hot sun
Maybe you got
     stuck
     in one of those

The Matterhorn
     I remember
was something of
     an investment
     in time-
for a very short
     ride

So Mr Charming-
     I await
your
     arrival

I never give
     up
on these things
(very possibly,
     maybe, to my
     detriment)

I believe
     in charmingness
and Princes,
     magic crowns,
-Castles in the
     clouds-

People would
     tell me
     not to

But I am busy
     waiting-
Waiting,
     for you

don't bother me
     with logic
or with
     worldly cares

Don't bother me
     I'm waiting-

for I
     am
a Princess
here   !!!!

Garden Notes; Bucket List

     

Today I love

     getting old 

So much undone

     that I will never do... 

The bucket list 

     has a hole in it 

The bucket leaks... 

I am not able-

     can't afford-

And beginning to see 

     the difference between- 

ideas 

     and 

          reality- 

Ideas are 

     much trouble...

Reality- 

     takes care 

          of itself

As in 

     the garden 

Where butterflies fly 

     and robins-

          hop -among the 

               mint-

-I still pull 

     the occasional 

          weed- 

And water 

     some- 

But overall, 

     it does 

          what 

                it wants 

And it's

     better 

That 

     way 

The bucket

     belongs 

In that sort of 

     garden 

-Useful 

     even with 

a hole 

     in it- 

No more lists- 

     if lists 

          can be avoided 

As long as we include 

      God- 

And put her 

     at the top 

     of the list 

Well--

     that is 

          the trick  

     

boston marathon bombing

A God of love
     and responsibility-
How important
     this is
To the Fabric
     of Society
and Society-
     How important
     this is
To our lives

Our dedication
     to the ideals
Is all that
     separates us
-all that
     saves us
From the Chaos

It comes from within-
     from the hearts
     of us all
Without it
     we are lost
We need to remind
     ourselves-
We need to
     give thanks
We need to
     renew our vows-
     our dedication
to the ideal
     of compassion
     and honor