Ramblings on July 31

living on the edge 
     between 
reality and dreams 
Plans and Schemes...

Knowing we are dying 
     day by day 

Knowing how close death is 
     and how 
          irrevocable

longing for the 
     sweet cessation 
          of all 
               activity 

Waiting for the 
     Lord 

-To come walking 
     by 
And take me 
     with you 
          -please-

Knowing 
     there is still 

More to do 

Trying to work up 
     Some enthusiasm 
          for this-

Hoping for some energy- 
     to continue- 

Not caring much 
     either way-

Wanting the bliss 
     of Krishna 
to descend 

Remembering when- 

Knowing that one 
     must make 
          the supreme effort 

to sit down 
     and watch it 

     come around 

Why is stillness 
     so much trouble?

Why are the currents all 
     running 
     the other way? 

Why?, Why?, Why?,

I cry 
I sit and sing 
a kirtan song 
     or two or three 

Just to be 
     with thee- 
     my Lord 

for some time 

for a little time 


Please 

make it more 

Tango Tonight

Tango tonight 
and 
What will I wear?

Tango tonight 
and 
Will he be there?

Tango tonight 
and 
That other one Too...

Will he be there
And will I care?

Sometimes I dance 
     with a woman- 
The Tango is not 
     discriminatory- 

Sometimes, at home,
     I dance alone

Sometimes you hold me 
     close 
Sometimes not

Sometimes 
     I lose myself 
     in a cloud 
     of dance 
     and closeness 

-Hang on 
     and close my 
           eyes 

Hear the music 
Feel the music

concentrate between
     reality 
and 
     dream 

float and fly 
and glide

together...   

Sweet Nothing or Sweet Something

And so 
     you say 
All these
     Sweet Nothings 
Just to turn 
     a poor girl's 
          head 

Are they Nothings 
     or are they 
     Somethings 

And how would 
     anyone 
     ever know?

Where is the 
     manual?

Where is the 
     book?

Where is the 
     lie detector 
          test?

And what will I 
     be left with?

When all is 
     said and done-

Words being 
     just words 
          after all 

And men being 
     What they 
          are.....! 

friends getting married...

friends getting married- 
wanting me to marry them- 

should i council them to 
     run far, run fast 
as my experience would 
     lead one to believe 

but then, there's the whole 
     companionship thing...

and another friend 
     who's being forcibly evicted 
from his love affair 
     (and I do mean lawyers- 
          with papers)

and another 
who 
really needs 
to start 
the process
and stop 
the yelling 

and u asking to 
take me to dinner
to begin 
some sort 
of silliness 

will we never learn- 

but, could it be 
that this is 
     how we 
          learn? 

put the heart out 
on the sleeve 
-wave it around 
in the worldly breeze 
and 
the powers that be 

will use it to 
     teach us 
use it 
to reach us 

whether we will 
     or no

Tonight, we'll dance...

Tonight 
     we'll dance 
and we will see 
if we fit together 
-easily- 

What have you learned 
in your expensive classes 
What have I learned 
     on the cheap

can these two styles 
be combined 
to create 
a synchronous dance

I will put on my 
     worn dance shoes 
with the developing 
     hole in the toe
     and loose heel 

how many miles have they 
     gone so far 
-how many dances 
     they've done
-how many arms 
     i've been held in 

but tonight 
     it will be your arms 
     around me 

I'll try not to kick you 
     I promise you that 
I will balance 
     ever so lightly 
turn 
     ever so brightly 

I will bring what passion I can 
     to the Tango 

  

A Gemini Talks to Herself

You know how 
     you are 
you'll ruin it 
You ruin 
     everything-
                
                                    Yes, I know,
                                     but I could 
                                     fake it 
                                     for awhile 
                                     just to see 
                                     his smile 
                                     one more time 
                                     or
                                     more than once 
                                           maybe...

You haven't 
     got a clue 
what to do 

                                     True..
                                      but maybe 
                                      just relax 
                                      and let him 
                                            lead 

You can't relax 
You're scared 
     to death 
You're poised 
     to run 

                                      Run toward-
                                      or away 

far, far
     away 

                                       Yes, 
                                             Start to pack
                                        And 
                                              Don't look back 

                                        But what about 
                                        his touch 
  
                                         I must stay near 
                                               enough
                                         for his hand
                                               to reach 

                                         near enough to 
                                               see his eyes
                                         And hear his voice

Like that dog
with that Victrola?
Have a little 
     self respect-
Don't let your 
     guard down 
     so quickly 

                                          That guard 
                                                 has been dead 
                                                 a long time 
                                           R.I.P.
                                           I give it up 
                                                 to God 

Only 
     don't know 
Trust the 
     Tao... 
                                  
                                          

Sweet Suicide/Drowning in Honey

Sweet Suicide 

     -then this longing 

          for you 

Would be done 

     -One bullet 

          more or less 

          to the head 

Would kill the heart 

          as well 

Then this longing 

     for you 

     would be done 

This crazy love gone-

Things back to normal 

     again 

(but I'd be dead)

I hate you 

     for causing 

          This pain 

This heart writhing slowly 

     in its 

          opening 

I hate you for being 

     close to me 

For allowing 

     this love 

     to build 

Yell at me 

     shove me 

          away 

Do not say 

     such sweet things 

     as you do 

If you open 

     another damned 

          door 

     for me- 

I will scream 

I will fall 

     at your feet 

     and wail 

What black magic 

     is this 

     What Svengali

What Sorcerer's 

     Apprentice

are you?

To take this lonely 

     freedom 

and trap it 

and tame it 

I rebel 

I will not be caught 

    in this velvet net 

    I will resist it 

To drown in honey 

was not part 

     of my plan 

Damn you-

I cannot 

     run 

(and I wouldn't miss 

this - for the world)