Friday, May 9, 2014

No Small Thing !

Butterflies circling -
Playing in a spring garden 
Breeze cooling -
The hot flashes. 
The morning tea 
Brings on 

Freeway sounding distant 
Today -
I slept last night !
And dreamed of 
Many things. 
Workmen taking my 
House apart -
Termites 
Eating it -
There was a dog 
On my lap 
At a race track 
Don't know what to think 
About that 
The man-friend was there -
But distant 

I have a friend who believes in 
Lucid dreaming 
I think I've done enough -
For one day -
And would rather not -
Dream at all 

Some say the butterfly dreams 
That It is a human sometimes 
Or that this world 
Is a dream 
And we will awake 
Some day -
The Buddha was awake 
And then had 
So much to say 
About it -

I'm tired of talking 
I have existential fatigue -
Along with being 
Old -

But I can give thanks 
For this shade 
And this way 
Of being today 

Nothing hurts 
I have food 
And a place to stay -

The hummingbird comes 
Around 
Curious -
And several types of 
Butterfly's 
Play 

If I were a painter 
I would paint 
- today- 
As such -
I am thankful 
I am not -
What a lot of bother 
With brushes and tubes 
Of paint 

I am only compelled to 
Try to describe -
In words 
The glory of 
Spring 

No small thing!

Sleep

Sleep -
It is a mystery 
To me 

This afternoon - late 
I lay down for a moment 
And hours passed 
- no one could have separated me 
From that 
What comfort - 
     What bliss 
What an opiate!

But now I wait 
     Late at night
For the idea to dawn again 
For the sleepiness 
     To descend 
Knowing that it's so 
     Necessary 
To the quality of 
My life tomorrow 

Fiddling with Facebook 
Looking up old "x's"
Feeling wonderful 
That I can -
That there is no parent 
No overseer -
To say 
Anything -
Ah 
What luxury 
It may not seem like much 
But from an  over controlled 
Childhood 
I still run -
I am rebelling here 
Staying up till 
One  
Hiding from 
Responsibility 

It will all be there tomorrow 
The lists 
Are still long 
I check off one or two things 
In a dulsitory fashion -
Until the next emergency arises 
And takes presidence 

But sleep 
(Which is what this was
Supposed to be about) 
Is no where to be found 
No where around 

As we get older 
It gets more complex 
Some nights - awake 
All night 
For no apparent reason
Just 
The sheer cussedness 
     Of life 
The more we fight and try 
To sleep 
The further away 
It drifts 
Anger doesn't help 
Murdering helpless pillows 
Beating on them 
Cursing - 
At three or four in the morning 
Is probably 
Counter productive -
Not in the 
"Sleep therapy"
Curriculum 

Was that a yawn? 
The beginnings of a possibility 
Of a return 
To the blessed state 
Of non-existence ? 

One can but try . . .

"X"

Dodged a few bullets 
Lately -
Thanking the gods 
For that -
Waiting for the next ones -
Knowing they'll come. 
Also knowing that - that's 
Life 

Obviously ordained 
To be that way 
And therefore 
Somehow sacred
No matter how much "i"
Do not approve. 

Wondering 
This evening about 
The incredible conduct of 
"Friends" 
Very "x"
How could they imagine that 
Cruelty and jealousy are
Appropriate -
Here 

Don't they know 
It all comes back 
On us -
Our hearts are closed 
To the extent 
We close them 
To others 

I suppose they mean 
To hurt us 
Because they 
Have been hurt 
Before 

Forgive and forget 
Forgive and forget 

Should have all been done 
By now 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Them

Jury duty ---
Save me please !
Boredom has descended 
With palpable palpability

Someone should study this 
Some scientific research is needed 
When people refuse to do this 
Our civilization is through 
It will have crumbled into 
Dust -

This one guy here 
Can sleep 
Sitting up
Why is it guys 
Can do that ?
And I can't. 

My friend will descend
Into dreams 
In the middle of something important 
I'm saying
And awake apologetically 
When I'm done -

As I was saying,
Our civilization 
Will be done -
When we don't allow "them"
To treat us 
This way -
To coral us 
To imprison us 
- For just the day 
So that we may decide 
Which others of us 
Must be imprisioned -
Where they can get 
Free food and lodging 
Paid for by us 

There is a logic here 
Somewhere 
I sure of it 

I'm almost 
Certain that this 
Makes sense to someone 
Somewhere 
In the great halls 
Of 
"Them"

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Friends

He's been to the jungle 
He's taken the drugs 
Led by shamans
He's seen the inside of his head 
     Expanding 
     Outward 

Now, one would hope, 
Some knowledge of 
     The heart 
Might be 
Forthcoming 
That the sky might 
     Open up 
Inside 

That he might see the heart 
Expand 
-The spiritual connection 
With -

There is no explanation for 
What he's done 
What he's seen 
But the size of the bugs 
Was obscene . . .

Am I jealous that some people 
Have the health 
To travel ?

I suppose . . .

But from what I've been told 
The greatest journey 
Is within -
The greatest test of courage 
Is to meet ourselves 
In silence 
And let God come in 
And be our friend 




Friday, May 2, 2014

Long Dresses

Reading about the 
"Good old days" 
When doors were opened 
For us 
And spring came gently 
With muslin skirts 
And flowery hats. 

Elegant carriages 
(But oh, the horses 
I do feel sorry 
For them) 
( and no antibiotics, 
What then?)

It boggles the imagination. . , 
But does make for a good story 
-Can't wait to see how it 
Ends 

She will undoubtedly hook up 
With the old lover she 
Is pining for 
And all will be sunshine 
Once again -

And I pine for you 
But for different reasons , . .
It is a different time 
I can come and go 
I have freedom 
I have rights 

The court can say 
He needs to 
Stay away -
I - as a woman -
Have every right 
To that !

And long dresses 
Would get old -
Real fast 

Monday, April 28, 2014

The Zen Bird

Wishing I could fly 
Not with feathers 
Not with wings 
But the spirit sort 
     Of bird 
It rises from the ashes of 
The mundane 
Of the everyday 
It soars 
It banks 
And sings 

It leaves behind 
All petty things 
It knows the way 
     To go 

The spirit bird requires 
Some attention 
     Now and then 
All sorts of cages 
Are made for it 
-Attempt to trap it 
     -To distract it 

I will tie 
A string around my 
     Finger 
To remember to remember 
In the midst of it all 
-All the clamoring, crying, sighing 
-All the silliness 
Of life 

The zen bird flies 
     Above it -
Now I need to 
Hitch a ride