Sunday, May 25, 2014

after all

can't force it 
this muse 
where has she gone 
today ?

i guess there's nothing 
she 
wants 
to say - 

these fragile bodies 
we think we're so special . . .
and we are 
I know we are !

just think about it 
won't you?
all this time and space 
exists - 
all these plants and trees 
to make oxygen 
for me ! 

yes, we mess it up 
but 
here we 
     still are 

gravity holds us down -
which is created by 
the earth spinning round
or the fact that it's so big 
to begin with -
either way, 
     it's awesome   

the sun comes up 
the sun goes down 
without that 
where would we be?

who thought this up 
It wasn't me 
It was all built up
for us 

to experience 
these experiences 
of being human 
here and now

someone 
obviously, 
wants us to 

probably would like 
some thanks 
too 

and then there's our 
connection to 

that's the most important 
thing 
it gives us a feeling of being 
and belonging 
and life 
and love
and light 

i guess the muse 
had something she 
wanted to say 

after all   




Sunday, May 18, 2014

Rumi

I look around 
And I see no 
Zen flowers 
Anywhere  :-(

This being has not been 
Contacting 
The infinate 
Lately 

This body 
Has been 
Sic
With fever 
For days -
Inspiration 
Has been 
Lacking 


Don't want to 
Be 
This way -
Without the flowers -
The product 
Of contemplation -
The daisys of 
Devotion 
The roses of 
Heart felt 
Connection

The spice 
Of life 
Has been lacking 

What did Rumi do 
When he felt like 
***** ?

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Waiting. . .

Waiting -
Waiting for lunch 
     Late lunch 
     U said u'd be here at 2:00
It's two 
And I'm hungry
What to do 
??

How late will u b ? 
Wait 10 min 
Or 15 
What's the rule ?
11 minutes 
Will have to do. 
I'm too hungry to
Wonder anymore
About the etiquette 
Of the situation . . .

And this is why 
A woman must have 
Her own money 
Can't depend 
On some people . . . 

You and your excuses 
I'm sure you'll have one 
I won't ask 
Being with u 
(And eating) 
Will be enough
To calm
The raging beastie
Inside the mind 
- looking for answers 
To Unfathomable 
Subjects 



Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Embrace

- - -
Global warming . . .
- - -
When I came here 
Thirty odd years ago 
We had summers of 
Fog 
June gloom, 
May grey 
We never saw 
The sun 
It was a local joke 
Want sun? 
Drive to Ojai 
Twenty degrees difference 
Twenty miles away 
Bright sunshine. 

Now 
Something's changed 
It's hot, hot, hot 
And it's only 
May 

We used to go to the beach 
On Christmas Day 
Just because we could 
It was our little ritual 
With family
So far flung 

Warmer then on Christmas 
Than in May 

Now it's just hot 
My garden doesn't know 
What to do 

Spring flowers 
Used to drippy fog 
Are wilting early 
I suppose we'll 
Adjust -
The outdoor shower 
Will be used to cool -
Indoors we'll adjust 

Old electrics barely support 
The little window box cooler
But it helps if 
One gets near enough 

Hot flashes have helped 
This one learn to tolerate 
Extremely warm 
Conditions -
Learn to sweat !
Even if genteel women aren't 
Supposed to 

No one told the 
Maker of 
Such a requirement 

But if it gets any hotter 
What then -
If food can't grow? 

Tonight I go 
To dance some tango 
It will be warm 
The doors will be open 
To the street 
Maybe much like 
Buenos Aires 

People walking by 
Look in with curiosity 
What is this foreign 
Scene ?
Americans dancing 
Together 
Just as if 
They knew 
How -
Americans enjoying
Embracing one another 
And moving with grace -
And you will arrive late 
And I anticipate 
Your particular embrace. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Bar be que

Old friends 
And new ones 
Bar be que ones 

Friend s 
What a special thing 
It is 
To get together 
Around an outdoor 
Fire
And sip wine and 
Talk of things 

-Get to know 
Some people 
From a different 
World 

What do they do 
And how do they
do it?
What do they know 
And 
How do they know it ? 

I get to see 
My life, my time,
My choices 
From some 
Other perspective 

I have chosen 
And life has chosen 
For me 

And I do 
The best 
I can 

Some have energy 
Some don't 
Some have courage and 
The ability 
To cope 

It's good to see -
To get to know 
Others 
And what their minds 
Are made of 

And where their hearts 
Have gotten 
To


Friday, May 9, 2014

No Small Thing !

Butterflies circling -
Playing in a spring garden 
Breeze cooling -
The hot flashes. 
The morning tea 
Brings on 

Freeway sounding distant 
Today -
I slept last night !
And dreamed of 
Many things. 
Workmen taking my 
House apart -
Termites 
Eating it -
There was a dog 
On my lap 
At a race track 
Don't know what to think 
About that 
The man-friend was there -
But distant 

I have a friend who believes in 
Lucid dreaming 
I think I've done enough -
For one day -
And would rather not -
Dream at all 

Some say the butterfly dreams 
That It is a human sometimes 
Or that this world 
Is a dream 
And we will awake 
Some day -
The Buddha was awake 
And then had 
So much to say 
About it -

I'm tired of talking 
I have existential fatigue -
Along with being 
Old -

But I can give thanks 
For this shade 
And this way 
Of being today 

Nothing hurts 
I have food 
And a place to stay -

The hummingbird comes 
Around 
Curious -
And several types of 
Butterfly's 
Play 

If I were a painter 
I would paint 
- today- 
As such -
I am thankful 
I am not -
What a lot of bother 
With brushes and tubes 
Of paint 

I am only compelled to 
Try to describe -
In words 
The glory of 
Spring 

No small thing!

Sleep

Sleep -
It is a mystery 
To me 

This afternoon - late 
I lay down for a moment 
And hours passed 
- no one could have separated me 
From that 
What comfort - 
     What bliss 
What an opiate!

But now I wait 
     Late at night
For the idea to dawn again 
For the sleepiness 
     To descend 
Knowing that it's so 
     Necessary 
To the quality of 
My life tomorrow 

Fiddling with Facebook 
Looking up old "x's"
Feeling wonderful 
That I can -
That there is no parent 
No overseer -
To say 
Anything -
Ah 
What luxury 
It may not seem like much 
But from an  over controlled 
Childhood 
I still run -
I am rebelling here 
Staying up till 
One  
Hiding from 
Responsibility 

It will all be there tomorrow 
The lists 
Are still long 
I check off one or two things 
In a dulsitory fashion -
Until the next emergency arises 
And takes presidence 

But sleep 
(Which is what this was
Supposed to be about) 
Is no where to be found 
No where around 

As we get older 
It gets more complex 
Some nights - awake 
All night 
For no apparent reason
Just 
The sheer cussedness 
     Of life 
The more we fight and try 
To sleep 
The further away 
It drifts 
Anger doesn't help 
Murdering helpless pillows 
Beating on them 
Cursing - 
At three or four in the morning 
Is probably 
Counter productive -
Not in the 
"Sleep therapy"
Curriculum 

Was that a yawn? 
The beginnings of a possibility 
Of a return 
To the blessed state 
Of non-existence ? 

One can but try . . .