what-so-ever -!-

Ok
     I give up...

Graduating
     Summa Cum Laude
          with a Master's Degree,
              (Decree)

Has nothing
     What-so-ever
          to do


               -with Plumbing-


I majored
     in one of those
          subjects
Which seems
     to have
          no application

What-So-ever

     to the Real
          World

But I'm learning...

    - a guy with a
     wrench
who won't
     rip you off-

is worth his weight
     in Gold

even at today's prices-

especially at today's prices-


These women
     with husbands
          who
               fix things


-Need to pause
     for a moment
          and reflect
               that-

even-though
     he can be a
          pain sometimes

They are not
     left alone
with a
     phone book
          and a growing puddle
               of water
                    under the kitchen sink!

And if they
     call guys
          to come-
There will be
     another guy there
          to talk
               to the guys...

So if your guy
     is at all
          nice

     or kind
          and ...
               can fix things...

Make sure
     he never
           learns to
               dance -!-


for then,
     my friend

he would be
     just too
          wonderful

for words-

     for any words,

          What-So-Ever!
    

an Evening to Remember

yes
it was an evening
to remember

I stumbled only
a few times
when dancing with
the "teacher"

When dancing with
my partner
we swung
around the floor

and I remembered
     why I do this...

the ankle gave
an awesome tweak
when first
     I stepped upon it

It held up after that
I vow
to be more careful
with it

I view that spot
in the yard
with suspicion now

I will get hand rails
for those steps

The minute I can
afford it

there are some things
worth
getting up
and getting dressed for

fox trot, swing, and waltzes
come to mind

live band-
slightly off key
     singer


difficult to find the place
amongst all those tall, trimmed hedges

dark and all, we parked up front
figuring the legitimate rich
had left by now

we the illegitimate
rabble had arrived
and like the look-ee-loos we are
---took cell phone pictures
of everything
and ourselves among them

texting pictures
to people
who probably
couldn't care less

we had peppermint ice cream
for desert
and when our neighbor
didn't eat his
we stole it

melty, stolen peppermint ice cream
tastes better
in between a mambo
and a jive

than almost
anything else
on earth

 

The Hundred Dollar Dance

The Hundred Dollar Dance
at the
Montecito Country Club...

and I fall down
like a sack of rocks
on my back walk
and the ankle gets twisted
and
will
all
my money
be wasted?

What will i wear?
Will I be able to dance?
"Mother" would be
     so proud...

We will get a glimpse
into how
the other half
lives...
(of course, "they"...
will probably not
be there)
We will only get to see
where they would be
on some day
when the place isn't
rented out
to the
wanna bees...

I will have
a glass of wine
(I'm planning)
and then
all will be fine

will my swollen ankle
fit into its shoe?

I have some nice
pearls
I bought when that store
-was going out of business
-in the depths of the
      Great Recession

I'll wear those
nobody will know
(they were 60% off)

It will be worth it
(I hope)
just for the chance
      to dance
it will be like
a vacation
from my hum-drum life
and from the housework
I haven't
been
doing

Waiting For the END OF THE WORLD!!!!!

Waiting for the end of the World
     while living in the motor home 

--the thing that bugs me
     is the whining...

no place
to take a shower
     can I use yours?

I worked all my life
for this shower
two jobs
sometimes three
-years of doing nothing
     but paying for
The American Dream

Was I wrong?
The tiles have fallen
     in that shower
One can see boards
     and lathe and plaster
That one
     is not supposed
     to see

One's Victorian ancestors
would be aghast...

One's X said "HE"
     would fix it
-and so many
      other things-


And what will you do
     if the world does not End
on dec. 21, 2012?

Less than a month
     to decide

My house will
     still be old
and so will I

Many of my friends
say
what a relief it will be-

nothing more to worry about
by 2013

Waiting for the End of the World
It never was ours
anyway

when one watches
"scientific"
things on TV
It can be seen
that the next meteor
or super volcano
or sun storm
will render all our
machinations mute

maybe the motor home
makes more sense
     after all
than
the
30 year
mortgage

while waiting
for the end of the world

 

A Different Story

A Different Story 

(there and back again

and there again)

If it isn't

     one thing 

It's another 

     And then 

Another one 

     after that 

This must be 

     The Way 

It's supposed 

     to be- 

Because 

     it is... 

So I need 

     to quit 

whining about it 

"stay calm 

     and carry on"

This must have been 

     What He meant 

     When He said 

"Don't kick 

     against the pricks"

Bills come like 

     water 

Through the door 

Water falls 

     as rain- 

The latest bill 

     has to do 

     with keeping 

the water, the rain, 

     on the outside 

and not 

     the In...

-Even Hobbit holes 

     require maintenance 

     I suppose

Where is my Sam Gamgee 

When he's needed 

(cannot wait! until that movie 

gets here)

It takes a village 

     and a government 

To make 

     a really good 

     movie 

-With Elves-

(The good Elves 

     don't come cheap)

after all the

Plumbing Work 

and the 

Major Debt... 

---the kitchen sink stops up!

(excellent excuse to go out 

     to lunch)

This would not happen 

if Elves or Gandalf 

were 

involved

Magic wands 

     and Elfin ways 

must have 

     built in 

"magic plumber"

settings and sayings- 

Magic incantations 

     for drain opening 

and bill paying 

and dealing 

     with "muggles"...

-even if 

     that's 

     a different 

     story ... 

Obnoxious ads

Obnoxious ads
on my blog
how could they?

some skinny young woman
in short pants

the millions
I was going to get
are about
     $1.38...

We do live in a
     Capitalist Society
-after all-
-more and more apparent
    to me-

"the quickest path
     to prosperity"...
But for whom?

I muse...
It was supposed
     to be me...
(in my dreams)

inflation
     keeps inflating
I'm getting old enough
     to say...

 I remember when gasoline
      cost .25$$$$ cents!!!!
(there is no cent sign
     on my machine!)

but - as you gasp -
that quarter
was made
out of Silver... !!!

What's the lesson here-
Is it time to start collecting
dried food and gold?
But then, what happens
     if-
"they discover lots more
     Gold"???

I was
a skinny young woman
once

If I'd only known then...
What I think I know now...




    

The BEE / The Mayans and Me

The BEE
Being on the outside
     of the car window
and NOT
     the inside

Brings a sense
     of Great Gratitude
     spontaneously arising-
     from me

As I watch
     said Bee
     flying blissfully away
over the hoods
     of the cars
     stopped at the
     stop light

I contemplate
     what the
alternative scenario
     would have been-

The level of tension
     the level
     of fear
of instantaneous
     decision making
in traffic-

the light turning
     green
The Bee
     buzzing
     around
     me

maybe landing
maybe stinging
     maybe getting
     between my
          collar
          and me
that has happened
     -previously-

-ah relief
-ah gratitude

a chance encounter
with one of
     God's
     Stinging Creatures

Ending well
     on May Day

Hopefully
     a happy omen
a fortunate
     portent
for "collapsing colonies"
     and
Mayan Prophesies...

*     *     *

The Mayans,
and me...
What if they just
     ran out of rock?

That circle
     of stone
     was only
     so big

No way to glue
     on more
or add
     an addendum
     a post script
     a p.s.

Maybe
     the world will not end!
Maybe
     we will be safe
because there's only
     so much
Anyone
     can fit on
Any
     one rock

even the pyramids
     The pointy things-
     Have only so much-
only
     so many corridors
Just
     so many walls
to put
     graffiti on

Even the greatest
     Pharaoh
     must
come to the end-
     and
no amount of
     golden chariots
or
     opium!
will give
the mummy back
that
     youthful glow









5/1/12












































































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